1. Don't let your fears dominate.
Be honest with yourself about your sex and aging beliefs. What do you perpetuate in your mind and act as if it “has to be true?” You don't have to deny reality to stay open to possibilities that may be different from what's portrayed culturally or what you hear from those you know.
2. Get curious about yourself.
How long has it been since you got in touch with yourself? Giving yourself sexual pleasure is just a part of what we mean. Over the years, you have definitely changed and what you used to find sensually and sexually enjoyable has changed too. Get specific and think about-- experiment with-- what feels good to you.
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3. Get curious about your partner.
Next, surprise your partner as he or she sips morning coffee with a question like this... “What turns you on?” Find out what feels good to your partner. Again, this isn't only sexually explicit information. Your beloved may tell you that to walk hand in hand through the park at sunset is delicious. If you listen and stay open to what you hear, you might also learn some new ways to touch your partner that will enhance lovemaking (for you both).
4. Appreciate what's working.
The key to making a conversation about sex a success where you end up closer and happier than before is to not make it a blame or complain session. Do share with your partner what you have discovered about your changing desires and preferences. Do make requests that are specific.
Be sure to also acknowledge and celebrate what is working!
Maybe you two deal with challenges such as: sporadic or lagging libido, erectile dysfunction, low energy, stiff and aching joints and muscles, among other things. These require you to be creative and patient with yourselves and one another.
These challenges don't mean you have to give up on sex.
It's powerful to realize that there ARE times when you do have the energy to make love. It gives a boost to notice the ways that you two ARE able to be romantic and passionate with each other-- even if it's not the way it used to be or not exactly perfect.
Notice what's working and what brings each of you pleasure and do more of that. Build on what keeps the spark alive as you celebrate your love that continues to grow in fiery ways.
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Find out how to keep your relationship feeling as fresh, new and wonderful as you'd like it to in the free ebook Passionate Spark~Lasting Love by relationship coaches and authors Susie and Otto Collins. Go to: www.relationshipgold.com