2. What is the main reason I feel like staying? You might think that you already immediately know the answer to this second question. Even so, take some time to really think about it for an answer. When you hear yourself thinking something like, "I have to stay because ...." or "I don't have any choice but to stay," what is the main reason why?
It might be for the sake of your children, for financial reasons or because you "don't believe in divorce." It could be because you still love your partner and truly want to work things out. Get clear about what is behind your impulse to stay.
3. Am I or are my children in imminent danger if we stay? This is an absolutely essential question to ask yourself. If your partner is abusive — physically, sexually or emotionally to you or your children, now is the time to get to safety. It is not in anybody's best interests to allow abuse to continue.
4. Am I willing to make changes? If your relationship seems to be teetering on the edge of destruction, ask yourself how willing you are to change. In situations like this, it's common to believe that your partner is the one to blame for the problems. While there's probably truth to that, it's likely just as true that you also play a role.
Go within and find out how willing you are to shift your perspective and be responsible for your share of the dynamics that are tearing you and your partner apart. Are you willing to make some changes to your own habits and behaviors in order to turn things around in your relationship?
5. Is my partner willing to make changes? Your partner also plays a role in your relationship troubles. Think about the actual words and actions of your partner. Has he or she indicated a genuine willingness to change? Have you seen any observable follow-through on promises? Forgiveness: A Powerful Tool After A Breakup