Should You Believe the Gossip?

You could say something like this instead: “This might be completely false gossip, but _____ told me ________ about you. Can you please help me understand what is true?”

Again, really listen and use your judgment about what adds up and what makes sense. When in doubt, keep your focus on the reliable information.

More from YourTango: What to Say to Your Cheating Spouse

Be choosy.

If there seems to be a lot of gossip going around about your partner, you or your relationship, take a step back and look for the source. It could be that you have surrounded yourself with people who don't necessarily have your best interests in mind when they talk about you to others (and to you).

Make sure you are getting facts you can trust and be choosy about who you spend time with. This might be a time to assess friendships. If you are finding that some of the gossip you hear about your partner is actually true, it might be time to assess your relationship.

Spend time with people who help you grow, who care about you and who offer you support when you need it. When it comes to your love relationship, your intention can be to do what is in your best interests.

If you can't avoid a particular co-worker or maybe even a family member who frequently spreads false gossip, do what you can to minimize your contact with that person. You can also change the subject when the gossiping starts. You might even decide to set a boundary and let the person know that you don't want to hear things about your partner that he or she can't back up with facts.

Create conscious agreements.

Believe it or not, gossip can be a means by which you and your partner make your connection and trust even stronger. Keep the lines of communication between you two open and honest.

Work together and create conscious agreements about what you each will do if you hear gossip. Your agreement might be to stop and get reliable facts before you believe what you are hearing. Your agreement might also be about how you will ask one another about the gossip you are hearing so that neither of you becomes defensive or hostile.

More from YourTango: Do You Fake It?

You don't have to allow gossip to divide you from the one you love. Be wise about what you are hearing AND use it as an opportunity to deepen your connection.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the relationship they desire.  Click here to get their free ebook, Passionate Heart-Lasting Love.