She acknowledges to herself that she does call him every day, sometimes twice a day. She loves Rick deeply, but for some reason, she feels a level of connection with her friend that is lacking with Rick. 4 Ways To Make Your Apology Count
2. Set boundaries with love and kindness. Now that Felicia can see her own role in the distance and jealousy, she returns to her dilemma. She feels like Rick invaded her privacy by checking her cell phone records and she is angry about it. She suspects that he has also looked at the e-mails in her personal account too. Forgiveness: A Powerful Tool After A Breakup
Felicia wants to set a boundary with Rick even after admitting to him that she is partly responsible for the conflict in their marriage right now. The first thing that Felicia does is to go for a walk at a nearby park. She feels clearer and calmer after exercising in the fresh air. When she does sit down with Rick, she says this to him:
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"I felt like my privacy was violated when you looked at my cell phone records without my permission. I am angry and do not like to be wrongly accused. I admit that there are times when I turn to my friend before I turn to you. I would like to talk with you about how we can both rebuild trust and start to reconnect. I will answer any questions that you have for me and I do not give you permission to ever access my phone records again."
You can set boundaries with your jealous partner with love and kindness. Come to the discussion as calm as you can. Be clear about what you will do and what you won't do. Remember to speak from your own vantage point instead of assuming what your partner wants or how he or she feels.
3. Set boundaries knowing that you cannot "fix" your partner's jealousy for him or her. As we said above, your partner's jealousy is not something you can "fix" or "solve" for him or her. You can be honest about how it feels to be wrongly accused. You can be open about how much you'd like the two of you to communicate without arguing.
You can let your spouse know that you are willing to support his or her efforts to overcome jealousy in specific ways. These ways shouldn't include you taking the sole "blame" or you giving in to whatever your partner wants just to avoid a fight.
Let your mate know that you are taking ownership for your role in the disconnection between you two. You can also let your spouse know that you want to work as a team as he or she faces the jealousy and begins to let it go.
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