4 Steps To Prove You've Really Changed

By

4 Steps To Prove You've Really Changed
4 steps to show your partner that you've changed your ways.

Be clear about and focus in on the habits you have that are contributing to problems in your relationship.

This doesn't mean that you ignore other habits you have that could be putting a strain on your relationship. It does mean that you make sure you are honing in on what is really at issue.

 

If it's your jealousy, make that your focus. If it's stopping the texts and emails with the cute guy at work, make that your main goal.

#3: Create clear and conscious agreements.

A great way to prove that you're making significant changes is to create agreements with your partner or ex. These need to be specific so that you both can see that the agreements are being kept (or not).

It's vital that you both have the same understanding of what you are agreeing to and that you both are consciously saying “yes” to that. Confusion or agreement as a way to please or avoid a fight will only cause more distance.

If you and your partner seem to have different ideas about what needs to change, this is something to talk about. Be honest with yourself first.

For example, is being able to watch porn something you're willing or unwilling to stop doing? Is there a compromise agreement either of you will make? Is this a deal-breaker for you?

#4: Follow through.

As the saying goes, “actions speak louder than words.” Remember this and make sure that your actions are matching up with what you say you will do.

If you have a habit of forgetting or not following through, this will require you to do the work. Write yourself notes, use your computer or phone's calendar, write it on your hand if you have to.

Whatever it takes for you to keep your word and do what you said you'd do-- use those reminders and supports.

If your habit feels too big for you to handle alone get help from a professional coach or therapist.

Trust and connection can be rebuilt one kept promise and one followed through action at a time. Be clear about what you are truly willing to change, create agreements and then keep your word.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you trying to rebuild trust and reconnect with your partner or ex?  Click here for Susie and Otto Collins' free trust-buildling mini-course.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

What To Do When You Love Him, But Don't Trust Him

By

He didn't cheat, but he still broke your heart... The wounds of an affair are usually deep, lingering and painful. But infidelity isn't the only way to destroy trust and put a relationship in danger. Betrayals come in many forms and degrees of intensity. You can be betrayed a little at a time and in very subtle ways or you can be betrayed with one ... Read more

Giving Up Control Could Be the Best Thing for Your Relationship

By

Karen thinks of herself as a relatively laid back person, but her happiness is starting to dwindle. If you took a poll of her boyfriend, family and closest friends, however, a different story emerges. You see, Karen cares a lot about the relationships she's in. Her biggest fear is losing the people she loves and so she spends the majority of her time, ... Read more

5 Tips To Grab The Communication Bull By The Horns

By

Which subject are you most likely to avoid communicating about with the one you love?: Money? Commitment? Trust issues? Jealousy? Sex? There are some common topics, and some unusual, hot button topics couples that lack effective communication skills often dance around, or simply refuse to talk about because it's just ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular