"My Jealous Partner Spies on Me!"

By

"My Jealous Partner Spies on Me!"
You've made amends for your lying or affair, but your partner is still jealous...

When you answer questions and provide information to your mate, keep that assured feeling alive within you. You do not have to be ashamed or feel guilt. You have forgiven yourself for the past and are making amends. There is no need for you to be punished or interminably carry around what happened-- especially if you're acting with honesty and integrity now.

Keep making agreements

 

As you make yourself available and transparent to your partner, remember that you can set boundaries. Just as you make agreements with your mate that you will prove your trustability, for example, by calling to check in a few times each day, you can also request agreements around the spying. You can make an agreement with your partner that you will honor your monogamy agreement and that you will be transparent about where you are and who you are with.

You can also request your partner to agree to stop checking in with co-workers to see if you are telling the truth. It is completely reasonable that you ask your mate to stop spying on you and, instead, to pay attention to the ways that you are keeping your word.

Yes, you might acknowledge, there are risks involved when trusting. But he or she can take those risks in informed and conscious ways-- and without having to spy.

When you are in the process of rebuilding trust after infidelity, frequent communication from the heart is vital. It is essential that your partner feels like he or she can begin to believe what you say and share. Just as essential is your ability to let go of the past and realize that you deserve to be trusted again.

Both of you staying open, available and transparent-- and putting an end to spying-- are effective ways to foster trust and move closer together.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the relationship they desire.  Click here to get their free ebook, Passionate Heart-Lasting Love.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

The Must-Read Social Networking Safety Guide For Couples

By

"It's harmless! I don't know why you're getting so uptight about this!" Justin tells his girlfriend Ellen — and not for the first time. He can't understand why she feels so threatened by the comments that Justin posts about and to other women. He also doesn't see why she makes such a big deal about it all. To ... Read more

3 Things You MUST Do To Breakup-Proof Your Relationship

By

We all mess up at one time or another. In the vast majority of cases, when a relationship is in trouble and teetering on the verge of a breakup, there's a complicated array of reasons why. Even if there was (or is) an affair, both people in the relationship played a part in creating the disconnection and dysfunction that helped set the ... Read more

Is Your Romance Hopelessly Doomed Because Of Your Age Difference?

By

Does the age gap between you and your lover you up at night (and we don't mean in a good way)?  It's hard to escape all the relationship studies and polls that say your May-December romance is doomed, including the latest research that seems to indicate that the larger the age gap between two people who are married, the higher the chance ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular