Mind The Gaps: 4 Ways To Prevent An Affair

By

Mind The Gaps: 4 Ways To Prevent An Affair
What makes a relationship prone to cheating and what you can do about it...

Is infidelity inevitable?

Why is it that one couple can remain true to each other for decades while another couple experiences infidelity? What is it that sets a relationship up for cheating? Are some people more likely to have affairs because of their personality or past? Is the state of love and marriage today such that cheating is more the norm than the exception?

These are important yet frustrating questions that can run through the mind of just about everyone who is in a love relationship or marriage. From reading magazines, websites and watching the lives of your friends and family, infidelity seems prevalent...and unavoidable.

Even the sweetest and seemingly most in love couples around can end up heart broken and shattered because of cheating.

If you are in a relationship, you worry that you will inevitably go through the very same thing. Unfortunately, fears that your partner will cheat, can quickly turn into destructive jealousy, suspicion and mistrust for no reason other than your fear.

A powerful way to prevent infidelity is to mind the gaps.

“Mind the gap” is painted on the floor of subway stations in London, England to prevent injury or even death. It’s become the official safety slogan to remind riders to step over the space between the platform and the car when boarding the subway to avoid a fall.

You can use the very same slogan in your relationship. Don’t invent or go looking for trouble, but do keep your eyes open. When there are “gaps” in your relationship in the form of weak, sensitive or damaged aspects, take care of them.

Don’t side-step them, but do resolve and strengthen them.

When you attend to the gaps in your relationship, you clear up resentment and you move closer to the one you love. This leaves little or no room for one (or both) of you to turn to someone else and cheat.

Pay particular attention to these 4 areas where dangerous gaps can develop....

1. Communication.
How does communication feel in your relationship? Is it mostly easy, free-flowing and honest or is it tense, conflict-filled or cold and silent? Remember, just because you aren’t arguing all of the time, it doesn’t mean communication is healthy. When you work together to create an environment of openness while maintaining connection, there will be less chance of disconnection and an affair.

2. Emotional intimacy.
Intimacy isn’t just about what happens in the bedroom. If you and your partner put up thick and tall emotional walls to keep each other at a distance, this increases the risk of cheating. Everybody has different comfort levels when it comes to emotional intimacy, so don’t make your partner wrong if he or she doesn’t seem as open as you are. But do continue to dismantle any walls you can with love and compassion. Keep Reading...

More relationship advice from YourTango

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

I Love You, But...

By

You can’t understand why your boyfriend claims you don’t show him any respect. You’re baffled that your wife says you’re “impossible” to please. None of what your partner says makes sense to you because-- in your mind-- you’re always loving and supportive. Before you totally discount what your special someone ... Read more

Oops, I Accidentally Broke Up With My Partner. Now What?

By

You don't know why you said it, but you did. It was a stupid argument and you can't even remember how the conflict started or what it was really about. What you won't ever forget is how frustrated and angry you were and the stunned look on your partner's face when you uttered the words... “It’s over! I’m leaving ... Read more

Should You Track the One You Love?

By

Focus on the facts. This is advice that we’ve offered over the years to countless women and men who were confused and worried about their relationships. Whether it’s suspicions that their partner is having an affair or anxiety that he or she doesn’t feel the same way, it’s always a good idea to lay out the observable, reliable and ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular