When was the first time you suspected that your partner was a sex addict?
Did you realize he seemed to want sex from you ALL of the time?
Did you notice that he watches a lot of porn?
Did you come to the conclusion that he masturbate more than you think is healthy?
Did you catch him flirting or cheating (again)?
Maybe it was alluring and exciting at first. You’d never been with anyone quite like this before and it was a turn on...until it became worrisome and upsetting. What started out feeling fantastically 50 Shades of Grey, soured. Trust has been damaged and you wonder if he’s really into you or just into sex. With anyone.
Now that you believe your man (or woman) is addicted to sex, you’re wondering what to do.
You don’t know how to bring up the subject without making him angry or so embarrassed he withdraws from you. So you remain silent and continue to worry. In the meantime, you’re closing down to him. Misunderstandings and arguments over “little things” crop up daily.
What used to feel like passion feels tarnished or has disappeared and you’re wondering whether or not you should even stay in this relationship.
The truth about sex addiction...
It’s especially important for you to make a wise decision about whether or not to stay in your relationship when you see red flags. Be sure you understand what sex addiction really is as you move forward.
According to experts, sexual addiction is not about physical attraction, intimacy or even pleasure. It’s not about connecting or expressing love either. Instead, it’s driven by a perceived need for power, dominance, control or even an expression of anger.
The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity defines this psychological disorder as: sexual behavior that escalates and persists despite “potential health risks, financial problems, shattered relationships or even arrest.” Sexual addiction may involve: incessantly searching for multiple sexual partners, excessively consuming porn, compulsively masturbating and even crimes such as exhibitionism, voyeurism or child molestation.
Sex addiction occurs in varying degrees and forms. Not all sex addicts commit crimes, but some do.
It’s helpful to know what sexual addiction really is so that you can use the term appropriately. It could be that your partner truly is a sex addict or maybe he or she is behaving in ways that violate your morals or the agreements you two have made, but isn’t compulsive.
Whether your partner is or is not a sex addict, do take it seriously if you see signs that you are being disrespected, lied to or cheated on.