50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex
ProConnect

Looking for Love‭? ‬Erase THIS from Your Vocabulary‭

By

Looking for Love‭? ‬Erase THIS from Your Vocabulary‭
Change your talk and open the door to a great love relationship‭!

Who knew‭?

Three little words can be a major reason why you’ve been unable to attract the amazing love relationship you’re longing for.‭ ‬Three little words that you might not even be fully aware of but that are a recurring part of your self-talk and your conversations with others could be the reason why you're still single.‭

More from YourTango: 4 Questions You Wish You Never Asked Your Partner

By themselves,‭ ‬these aren’t offensive or inflammatory words,‭ ‬but their effect can keep you stuck in a miserable place.‭ ‬As they creep into your everyday life,‭ ‬they cause you to shut down to new people you meet and to those you've known for awhile.‭ ‬These words prevent you from being at your best and finding the love you’ve been looking for.‭

These troublemakers are...

‏“This means that...‎”

How many times have you been at a party or any kind of social gathering and felt confused or unsettled‭? ‬A guy who you thought might be interested,‭ ‬hasn’t made eye contact with you all night‭! ‬Your mind instantly lands on,‭ “‬So this means that he’s not attracted to me.‭” ‬And then,‭ “‬This means that I’ll never find a date.‭”  ‬And further,‭ “‬This means that I’ll always be alone.‭”

You can set off a dangerous downward spiral when you allow‭ “‬this means that‭” ‬to take hold.‭

You tell your best friend about the date you went on a couple of days ago.‭ ‬Things seemed to go well...at least you thought so.‭ ‬But he’s not returned any of your texts since then and the weekend is almost here with no invitation from him to go out again.‭ ‬You’re trying not to bum out your friend,‭ ‬but you’re worried.

You admit to her that you’re sure your date’s silence means that he doesn’t want to see you again.‭ ‬You go on to ask,‭ “‬Does this mean that there’s something wrong me‭?!”

Focus on what’s true.‭
If you have a habit of using these three words that can ruin your happiness‭ (‬and chance for love‭)‬,‭ ‬you’re not alone.‭ ‬It’s natural for anyone to want to make sense of a disappointing or frustrating situation,‭ ‬especially one that doesn’t make sense.‭

Rather than criticize yourself for doing what so many of us do,‭ ‬begin to notice it.‭ ‬When you feel puzzled and start throwing out guesses about why someone is behaving as he or she is or why your life is the way it currently is,‭ ‬stop.‭

More from YourTango: 4 Game Changers for a Happier Marriage

Bring yourself out of‭ “‬this means that‭” ‬and back to the facts that you know to be true right now.‭ ‬Replace your‭ “‬this means that‭” ‬theory with the truth.‭ ‬Focus in on the literal words that were said to you.‭ ‬Look for observable and reliable information that will help you understand what’s going on.‭

Do your best to leave the rest behind‭ (‬including what may have been true in the past‭) ‬and remember,‭ ‬YOU get to choose where you place your attention.‭

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

4 Questions You Wish You Never Asked Your Partner

By

If you've ever asked yourself the question: "Was it something I said?" chances are, it was. Communication with your spouse or partner can be a tricky business. You may have the best intentions and only want your beloved to move closer to you, but the way you choose to tell your truth and say whatever is on your mind can unintentionally cause ... Read more

4 Game Changers for a Happier Marriage

By

This year’s NCAA basketball tournament is nearing its exciting finish. If you’ve been following your favorite team to see who’s best at college basketball and hoping your bracket picks survive and win, you’ve probably been watching a lot of hoops. You’ve probably noticed something about these adrenaline-rush games... There ... Read more

How Pushy Is TOO Pushy?

By

Without a doubt, one of the most infuriating things in a relationship is when your guy gets quiet and won’t talk. You know he had a bad day and he refuses to talk about it. His response is, “I’m fine,” when you ask. Or you’re sure he’s angry because of something you did, but he won’t talk about it. You can almost ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
happiest

Listen Up, Darling: A Sex Kitten Is Never Hangry or Tired

Recently I shared eight surprising traits of a sex kitten. Each of those traits are ones that ...

happy couple older

Just Say No: The 4 Types of People You Shouldn't Date

You can avoid bad relationships simply by avoiding certain types of people.

Heart

Hundreds of Matchmakers Descend on NYC to Spread The Love!

The 2014 Matchmakers and Date Coaches conference has arrived!

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS