Looking for Love‭? ‬Erase THIS from Your Vocabulary‭

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Looking for Love‭? ‬Erase THIS from Your Vocabulary‭
Change your talk and open the door to a great love relationship‭!

Who knew‭?

Three little words can be a major reason why you’ve been unable to attract the amazing love relationship you’re longing for.‭ ‬Three little words that you might not even be fully aware of but that are a recurring part of your self-talk and your conversations with others could be the reason why you're still single.‭

By themselves,‭ ‬these aren’t offensive or inflammatory words,‭ ‬but their effect can keep you stuck in a miserable place.‭ ‬As they creep into your everyday life,‭ ‬they cause you to shut down to new people you meet and to those you've known for awhile.‭ ‬These words prevent you from being at your best and finding the love you’ve been looking for.‭

These troublemakers are...

‏“This means that...‎”

How many times have you been at a party or any kind of social gathering and felt confused or unsettled‭? ‬A guy who you thought might be interested,‭ ‬hasn’t made eye contact with you all night‭! ‬Your mind instantly lands on,‭ “‬So this means that he’s not attracted to me.‭” ‬And then,‭ “‬This means that I’ll never find a date.‭”  ‬And further,‭ “‬This means that I’ll always be alone.‭”

You can set off a dangerous downward spiral when you allow‭ “‬this means that‭” ‬to take hold.‭

You tell your best friend about the date you went on a couple of days ago.‭ ‬Things seemed to go well...at least you thought so.‭ ‬But he’s not returned any of your texts since then and the weekend is almost here with no invitation from him to go out again.‭ ‬You’re trying not to bum out your friend,‭ ‬but you’re worried.

You admit to her that you’re sure your date’s silence means that he doesn’t want to see you again.‭ ‬You go on to ask,‭ “‬Does this mean that there’s something wrong me‭?!”

Focus on what’s true.‭
If you have a habit of using these three words that can ruin your happiness‭ (‬and chance for love‭)‬,‭ ‬you’re not alone.‭ ‬It’s natural for anyone to want to make sense of a disappointing or frustrating situation,‭ ‬especially one that doesn’t make sense.‭

Rather than criticize yourself for doing what so many of us do,‭ ‬begin to notice it.‭ ‬When you feel puzzled and start throwing out guesses about why someone is behaving as he or she is or why your life is the way it currently is,‭ ‬stop.‭

Bring yourself out of‭ “‬this means that‭” ‬and back to the facts that you know to be true right now.‭ ‬Replace your‭ “‬this means that‭” ‬theory with the truth.‭ ‬Focus in on the literal words that were said to you.‭ ‬Look for observable and reliable information that will help you understand what’s going on.‭

Do your best to leave the rest behind‭ (‬including what may have been true in the past‭) ‬and remember,‭ ‬YOU get to choose where you place your attention.‭

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
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