Three little words can be a major reason why you’ve been unable to attract the amazing love relationship you’re longing for. Three little words that you might not even be fully aware of but that are a recurring part of your self-talk and your conversations with others could be the reason why you're still single.
By themselves, these aren’t offensive or inflammatory words, but their effect can keep you stuck in a miserable place. As they creep into your everyday life, they cause you to shut down to new people you meet and to those you've known for awhile. These words prevent you from being at your best and finding the love you’ve been looking for.
These troublemakers are...
“This means that...”
How many times have you been at a party or any kind of social gathering and felt confused or unsettled? A guy who you thought might be interested, hasn’t made eye contact with you all night! Your mind instantly lands on, “So this means that he’s not attracted to me.” And then, “This means that I’ll never find a date.” And further, “This means that I’ll always be alone.”
You can set off a dangerous downward spiral when you allow “this means that” to take hold.
You tell your best friend about the date you went on a couple of days ago. Things seemed to go well...at least you thought so. But he’s not returned any of your texts since then and the weekend is almost here with no invitation from him to go out again. You’re trying not to bum out your friend, but you’re worried.
You admit to her that you’re sure your date’s silence means that he doesn’t want to see you again. You go on to ask, “Does this mean that there’s something wrong me?!”
Focus on what’s true.
If you have a habit of using these three words that can ruin your happiness (and chance for love), you’re not alone. It’s natural for anyone to want to make sense of a disappointing or frustrating situation, especially one that doesn’t make sense.
Rather than criticize yourself for doing what so many of us do, begin to notice it. When you feel puzzled and start throwing out guesses about why someone is behaving as he or she is or why your life is the way it currently is, stop.
Bring yourself out of “this means that” and back to the facts that you know to be true right now. Replace your “this means that” theory with the truth. Focus in on the literal words that were said to you. Look for observable and reliable information that will help you understand what’s going on.
Do your best to leave the rest behind (including what may have been true in the past) and remember, YOU get to choose where you place your attention.
Find out what’s possible.
Maybe erasing the words “this means that” from your vocabulary doesn’t feel realistic. After all, it’s kind of like asking someone to pretend that there’s not a pink flamingo sitting in the living room. There's no denying your very vivid and real fears...even if there isn't proof that those fears are accurate now or that they'll happen in the future.
9 times out of 10, you can't know what will happen in the future. Why not base your decision about how to respond to a worrisome situation on the facts that you can know? Calm your fears by remembering that what you can't know and what you do know.
This will help you see what's actually possible.
Before you conclude that the guy across the room isn't interested in you, find out more. Work up the courage to walk up to him and say “hello.” Ask him to dance with you. Explore what's possible by taking a risk.
With the date you've not heard from in a couple of days, make a call or send one more text to him. Don't play games, but let him know how much you enjoyed going out and that you'd like to do it again. Be clear and say that you're available this weekend but will make other plans if you don't hear from him.
This isn't meant to be manipulation, it's merely communicating that you aren't going to continue to incessantly text him and you won't be sitting around waiting either.
If he says, “no” or refuses to respond, you can rebound more quickly if you re-focus on other options. Don't use this temporary set back to return “this means that” to your vocabulary.
Instead, ask yourself a question like, “What else would be fun this weekend?” or “Who would I enjoy spending time with since he is not available (or answering my texts)?” The more options you present to yourself, the better chance that you'll be happy and the quicker you'll meet someone who is a match for you.
Finding love isn't brain surgery! As you erase limiting thoughts and keep yourself open, the right partner will come into your life easily and even effortlessly. Automatic Attraction Secrets shows you how. Visit www.AutomaticAttractionSecrets.com to get started today.