Keep Passion Alive as You Weather the Seasons of Your Marriage

By

Keep Passion Alive as You Weather the Seasons of Your Marriage
5 Strategies to Keep Passion Alive in Your Love Relationship or Marriage

It's fall!

In the Midwest, trees' leaves are beginning to change colors creating a gorgeous palette of red, yellow, purple, brown and green.  It is a season for bundling up and cheering on your favorite football tea and for drinking apple cider.  

 

Just as our calendar year has its seasons, so too does your marriage

When you notice that your relationship has changed, it can be disconcerting.  You might worry that love has died or doubt your partner's feelings for you. 

As you think back to how it used to be in your relationship, you may realize that the level of passion is just not what it was. 

You may be wondering if this change in the way that you and your partner relate to one another and spend your time is natural and normal or if it means that something is wrong.

This wondering, unfortunately, can create distance in your relationship.  Your partner may begin to feel judged, causing strain. The moments of connection that you two do have may be missed because of your worries.

We're here to tell you that changes can be normal in a relationship...

According to conventional wisdom, there are distinct phases of a marriage (or long-term love relationship). 

  • Honeymoon phase: This is that initial period of time when you two can't get enough of one another.  This is when you fall in love and feel butterflies in your stomach.
     
  • Reality phase: Also called the “realization” phase, this is the time when you begin to see that your beloved is actually human and has flaws just like you do.  This can be a crisis time if the perceived flaws are deal breakers for one or both of you.
     
  • Cooperation phase: This is when a couple is mostly focused on working together toward a common goal-- to raise a family, start a business together or care for home and pets together. This can be a time when passion and the relationship take a backseat to other concerns.
     
  • Rebellion/crisis phase: Crises can occur throughout the phases, but there can be a marked period when one or both people question feelings and the relationship itself. 
     
  • Accommodation phase: If the couple stays together throughout the crises along the way, at this point there is a sense of coming to peace with who the other person is and a settling in to life together.  This may be a time for merely tolerating one another or for re-discovering love and passion.

As you probably already know...

Nothing in life is as neat and tidy or linear as this. 

Relationships usually move in and out of phases like these and some couples never do experience all of the phases listed above.  Or, they experience the phases in very unique and non-textbook ways.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

What To Do When You Love Him, But Don't Trust Him

By

He didn't cheat, but he still broke your heart... The wounds of an affair are usually deep, lingering and painful. But infidelity isn't the only way to destroy trust and put a relationship in danger. Betrayals come in many forms and degrees of intensity. You can be betrayed a little at a time and in very subtle ways or you can be betrayed with one ... Read more

Giving Up Control Could Be the Best Thing for Your Relationship

By

Karen thinks of herself as a relatively laid back person, but her happiness is starting to dwindle. If you took a poll of her boyfriend, family and closest friends, however, a different story emerges. You see, Karen cares a lot about the relationships she's in. Her biggest fear is losing the people she loves and so she spends the majority of her time, ... Read more

5 Tips To Grab The Communication Bull By The Horns

By

Which subject are you most likely to avoid communicating about with the one you love?: Money? Commitment? Trust issues? Jealousy? Sex? There are some common topics, and some unusual, hot button topics couples that lack effective communication skills often dance around, or simply refuse to talk about because it's just ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular