Jealous? Stop Stalking And Start Talking

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Jealous? Stop Stalking And Start Talking
Do you check your partner's Facebook page at least once a day? You might be a stalker.

It's clear that jealousy can cause you to say things you later regret. You grill your partner about who she had lunch with. You interrogate your boyfriend about who he was just talking to on the phone. You accuse your spouse of flirting.

That monster — jealousy — robs you of your peace of mind and wreaks havoc in your relationship. It comes through in the way you talk and the way you act. Strictly speaking, "stalking" is the illegal act of pursuing or harassing another person, like when paparazzi stalk celebrities. But, did you know that stalking also happens in committed relationships and marriages too? Because of suspicion and jealousy, girlfriends stalk their boyfriends and husbands stalk their spouses. It's a dangerous game that's rooted in worry, fear and confusion. What's worse is that you might not even know that what you're doing is considered stalking. Ask yourself these questions:

 

  • Do you check your partner's Facebook page at least once a day?
  • Do you regularly drive by your partner's house or workplace just to check for his or her car?
  • Do you look through the texts and call history on your partner's phone?

These are just a few ways that people stalk and it's not healthy for your relationship or for you either!

Stalking usually increases suspicion instead of calming it, even if you don't find any proof. Your jealous mind will not rest until you've checked again. The thought, "What if I didn't catch the incriminating text?" runs through your mind, wears you down and causes you to doubt your partner's commitment even more than before.

It also ruins trust. Not only does stalking weaken the bond of trust with your partner, if you get caught spying or checking up on him or her, it's going to push you two further apart. Stalking is isn't always a conscious choice which makes it difficult to deal with. You react to feeling jealous by sneaking and picking up her phone without thinking. You alter your route home to see if his car is in the parking lot at work without fully realizing what you're doing. Keep reading ...

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
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