4. You are living in the present moment. When one (or both) of you lives in the past, a big wall is created that blocks the kind of future you want. As vital as it is for you and your partner to learn from the affair and to identify what habits you both have that tore you apart, it's just as important for you to be fully present as you get back together again.
There will probably be conversations or situations that are triggering to you. Things may starkly remind you of the past and the emotional pain you went through.
More from YourTango: Banish THIS 5-Letter Word After His Affair
Develop the habit of noticing it when you've drifted back to the past (even to the good times) and bring yourself back to right now. What is true now about how you feel, what you want and how your partner is acting? What Lies Beneath Emotional Infidelity?
So many of us have a habit of living in the past. The key is to pull yourself back to the present moment and respond from that. The more you can do this, the easier and more joyful your reunion will be.
More from YourTango: Can You “Catch” Divorce?