ProConnect

How To Fall 'In Like' With Your Spouse

By

Out of 'Like' With Your Partner
Falling out of "like" with your partner is just as detrimental as falling out of love.
Yes, you love your partner, but do you really like him or her?

Kim has been married to Jeremy for over twenty years. She can't imagine living her life without him. He's been with her through difficult times when they were just starting out and now as their "babies" are growing up and leaving home.

There are no regrets for Kim. She chose a stable, dependable husband in Jeremy. But, especially now that their kids are headed to college, Kim is beginning to wonder what the future will hold for their marriage.

More from YourTango: 4 Questions You Wish You Never Asked Your Partner

There is no doubt that she deeply loves Jeremy, but she's just not so sure that she likes him.

They've both changed so much over the decades. Some of his habits and quirks that were once cute are now unbearable to Kim. As Jeremy is getting older, he also seems to be getting more stubborn and closed-minded. This really irritates her.

And, with both of them devoting more and more of their time to their careers and very different interests, she worries that they won't have anything in common besides their kids.

Kim doesn't want to end her marriage, but she'd like to enjoy it more. She wants to feel excited again to be with Jeremy. She wants to laugh and have fun together like they used to. She'd like to spend time with him and actually like him for a change.

It can be uncomfortable and maybe even a little scary to realize that you don't necessarily like your spouse.

There might not be anything horribly wrong with your partner...except for those dozens (or more) of "little" things that you disapprove of or that get on your nerves. These "little" irritations may be things that you bite your lip and remain silent about, or they could be what you nag and fight about.

It could be that neither you nor your mate have ever cheated on one another. Maybe you two go out together and make love on a regular basis. It's probable that you both love one another deeply.

But...you have fallen out of "like." How to Get That Spark Back

The difference between like and love

Liking someone is often taken for granted when you already love him or her. The care and connection you have with your partner are certainly tied in with feeling love. There is tenderness, affection and a concern for the other person's well-being that comes with loving.

However, this doesn't mean that you always (or often) like this person with whom you're sharing your life.

Liking generally indicates that you enjoy being with the person. You two have fun together and feel emotionally, intellectually or otherwise stimulated being around one another. Being "in like" doesn't mean that you find every single word or action from your partner witty, interesting or enriching.

Overall, you do.

More from YourTango: 4 Game Changers for a Happier Marriage

The vast majority of the time, you value and genuinely appreciate being with your partner when you like him or her.

Question your criticisms

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

4 Questions You Wish You Never Asked Your Partner

By

If you've ever asked yourself the question: "Was it something I said?" chances are, it was. Communication with your spouse or partner can be a tricky business. You may have the best intentions and only want your beloved to move closer to you, but the way you choose to tell your truth and say whatever is on your mind can unintentionally cause ... Read more

4 Game Changers for a Happier Marriage

By

This year’s NCAA basketball tournament is nearing its exciting finish. If you’ve been following your favorite team to see who’s best at college basketball and hoping your bracket picks survive and win, you’ve probably been watching a lot of hoops. You’ve probably noticed something about these adrenaline-rush games... There ... Read more

How Pushy Is TOO Pushy?

By

Without a doubt, one of the most infuriating things in a relationship is when your guy gets quiet and won’t talk. You know he had a bad day and he refuses to talk about it. His response is, “I’m fine,” when you ask. Or you’re sure he’s angry because of something you did, but he won’t talk about it. You can almost ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Smooches

She's That Into You: Cracking the Code of Women

Women give off signals telling you how they feel.

Girlfriends

6 Texting Shockers You Must Avoid!

Sending your man a text message sounds easy enough, but get it wrong and it could be the end of you.

Blues

The addiction to "busy"ness: How to live with more intention

Is the daily routine of life getting you down? Find your passion and live a more authentic life!

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS