Jessica and Cal have barely spoken to one another since their nasty argument 3 days ago. If they’re honest about it, they’ve barely spoken a kind and loving word to one another for several months. This latest disagreement about whether or not to move is just more of the same and it’s tearing them apart. Both wonder what happened to their marriage and if anything can be done to save it.
Cindy and Lisa never argue. They both grew up in families where angry eruptions were a daily occurrence and they promised one another that they’d not put their two young children through a similar experience. Unfortunately, this agreement has backfired and now neither of them knows what to do when strong emotions come up. Instead, they both usually pretend that everything is okay when it actually isn’t.
The stereotypical relationship in peril is overtly hostile where one (or both) may have broken trust in some way and now both are unhappily questioning whether or not their relationship will survive. It’s true, there are many couples who fit this description, like Jessica and Cal.
There are just as many relationships that, on the surface, don’t seem troubled. Everything appears just fine. Well, sort of. The more “quiet” relationship challenges can include resentment, passive-aggressiveness and a general sense of dissatisfaction.
Some signs that your relationship needs help are these...
- Communication has broken down (in loud or quiet ways).
- You and your partner lead separate lives.
- Intimacy (emotional or sexual) has significantly faded or died.
- Trust is weak or non-existent.
- You (or your partner) are so unhappy you are considering leaving the relationship.
When questions like, “Why am I still with this person” and “Will we ever be happy and in love again?” flood your mind, then it might be time to find a counselor or coach who is a good fit for you. Even if your partner won't participate, it can be a valuable and growing experience and one that can actually save your relationship (if you decide that staying is what’s best for you).
Here are 5 benefits of working with a professional...
#1: Outside perspective.
It’s ALWAYS helpful to get a fresh view of your situation from an outside observer’s perspective. Someone who is skilled at listening and asking questions with more objectivity than either you or your partner have can help you focus in on the core issues of a situation and lets you see where you do agree with one another.