Kristi is disgusted.
She throws down the magazine she's been reading. Even though she's well aware that the pictures in magazines have been photoshopped and that just about no woman looks that perfect, Kristi still feels ugly in comparison.
The image of sexy portrayed in magazines, on television and in the movies would be impossible to pull off. Kristi doesn't try to be sexy, even though she'd like to. She worries that her boyfriend will get tired of being with someone who looks like she does. When they go to parties and especially when they're at the pool together, Kristi feels like the most un-sexy person there.
She often feels jealous of other women and accuses her boyfriend of wanting to be with them instead of with her, even though there's no proof of this.
Can you relate to what Kristi is going through?
Whether it's unrealistic images in magazines, your opinion of other women and men you see and whether or not you're a woman or a man... you might feel like you are seriously lacking when it comes to sex appeal.
This can cause insecurity and lead to jealousy and other serious problems in your relationship. If you are single and looking for a partner, believing that you aren't (and can never be) sexy is only going to keep you alone.
Regardless of what size your body is, the dimensions of your chest, hips and waist, the color of your skin, eyes or hair or even your age, we're here to tell you that you CAN feel and be sexy.
If you want to be more alluring or attractive to your partner or to a potential date, know that it IS possible.
Try these 5 ways to get your sexy on...
#1: Re-think sexy
So many of us have a skewed idea of what being sexy-- or even being attractive-- is. We buy into the images we see in the media. We allow our perspectives to be severely limited and we forget that very few, if any, real people actually fit these standards.
Notice how you think about “being sexy” and how you compare yourself to these made up standards. Now, we challenge you to break the rules. Re-think what it could be to be sexy.
The great thing is that everyone has different preferences, so there really are no rules to break. If you really consider what physically attracts you to someone else, this will be unique.
When you open up to a completely new way to think about sexy, it's easier for you to start to see yourself as sexy.
#2: Make peace with your own sexiness
Just as we all have different preferences when it comes to physical attraction, we also all have our own way to be sexy. Not everyone wants to be sexy, but everyone has the capacity for it.
Many of us have been taught that to be attractive and sexy is somehow wrong or unsafe. These messages may have been relayed by parents, church teachings or traumatic experiences like childhood sexual abuse or rape.
Recognize it if you hold beliefs that to be sexy is not okay. Heal your past and begin to make peace with your body and your own version of sexiness. If the word “sexy” feels uncomfortable to you, find another word that is comfortable and that helps you tap into the beauty that is in you.
#3: Uncover the sexy inside you
As we said, the potential for feeling and being sexy is inside of every single one of us-- regardless of size, shape or age. It's up to you to discover, uncover and own it!
Start by playing around with the clothes you wear. Don't strap on stiletto heels and a dress slit up to there if that is a huge stretch from what you normally do. Be authentic, but step outside the norm of what your usual wardrobe is.
Explore what sexy feels like. When you're by yourself, put on some sensual or upbeat music and dance. Don't worry about getting dance moves “right;” give yourself permission to move with the music and to notice what the fluidity and flow and how you feel.
#4: Let your sexy show
Once you have a sense of what feeling sexy is like, now it's time to let it show. Treat your partner to you being flirty and passionate. If you're usually pretty shy and reserved around him or her, invite yourself to step up the sexy somewhat.
The idea here is not to do something that's so out of character and uncomfortable that you don't enjoy it. The intention is for you to tap into and honor a part of yourself that's there and that's ready to come out-- even if it needs a little prodding.
The same thing goes if you are single and looking for a relationship or just a casual date. Challenge yourself to do one thing that's a little more daring than what you usually do when out socially.
#5: Live a sexy life
Being physically appealing starts on the inside. There's no amount of makeup, flashy jewelry or clothes that can cover up insecurity or unhealthiness. Make sure you are living sexy from the inside out.
This means that you treat your body as the temple it is. Eat healthy foods, stay hydrated with water and if you use alcohol or drugs, do so in moderation. Keep yourself mentally and emotionally well too. Stop telling yourself that you're worse or better than anybody else and, instead, follow your passions and be kind and loving toward yourself and others.
When you're sexy on the inside, it comes through. This draws your partner (or a potential partner) to you in ways you never before thought possible.
Feeling and being sexy can do wonders for your relationship! Click here for Susie and Otto Collins' free ebook Passionate Spark~ Lasting Love.