to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

Fix for the Bad Habit that Hurts Your Marriage

By . Posted on .

Fix for the Bad Habit that Hurts Your Marriage
Don't let your insecurity come between you and your partner

Take some time to look at the ways that your low self esteem make themselves known in your life. Trace the thoughts, self put-downs or other limiting habits back to beliefs or emotionally painful experiences you may have had.

Write down on paper the most frequent ways that low self esteem shows up in your life. Be sure to also write down what you think are the beliefs or past experiences that play/ed a role in you feeling negatively about yourself.

More from YourTango: What to Say to Your Cheating Spouse

Come up with an action plan to strengthen self esteem.

Next and on the same piece of paper, write down any and all actions you could take to start to change your beliefs or heal and let go of your past.

Write down everything that comes into your mind. Don't censor yourself. Then, circle those action steps that you are willing to actually do.

Here are some examples...

  • Look for one thing I DO like about my body every day.
  • Tell my partner how I really feel in a way he (or she) can hear.
  • Remind myself that every man (or woman) I date won't be just like my cheating ex.
  • Make an appointment with a counselor or coach who can help me heal from my past.

Be as specific as you can and, if it helps you follow through, set a deadline by which you will have taken-- or at least started to take-- this action.

Stick with it and build on improvements.

With any habitual way of thinking and living, you're probably going to have slip ups. You will most likely fall back into your usual patterns of comparing yourself to others or putting yourself down.

Be persistent!

The more you can return to and stick with your self esteem strengthening plan, the quicker you'll see results you can be happy with.

More from YourTango: Do You Fake It?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Free yourself from the stress and torment of jealousy AND improve your marriage. Free 7 Jealousy-Stopping Secrets ebook at www.nomorejealousy.com

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie And Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.

Visit http://www.relationshipgold.com to get their free ebook: Passionate Spark- Lasting Love as well as access to free articles and resources to help you improve your love relationship or marriage.

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie and Otto Collins:

What to Say to Your Cheating Spouse

By

So here you are. It’s a place you never ever thought you’d be. You used to believe that infidelity was something that only happened in other people’s relationships, not yours. That was until your spouse started acting weird and you began to notice things, little clues that became increasingly worrisome. When you finally discovered that ... Read more

Do You Fake It?

By

Did you know that men fake it too? In a recent study, 22% of men in the U.S. admitted that they’ve faked an orgasm with their partner. Women, of course, are the stereotypical fakers when it comes to pretending to be sexually satisfied when they’re not. Another study shows that around 80% of women make it seem like they climaxed when they ... Read more

Mind The Gaps: 4 Ways To Prevent An Affair

By

Is infidelity inevitable? Why is it that one couple can remain true to each other for decades while another couple experiences infidelity? What is it that sets a relationship up for cheating? Are some people more likely to have affairs because of their personality or past? Is the state of love and marriage today such that cheating is more the norm than the ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
deep breath

The Surprisingly Common Reasons Women Have Trouble Getting Wet

Here are 6 surprisingly common things that interfere with a woman's ability to self-lubricate.

shame

Why Did You Have To Say THAT?!?

Have you ever wondered how 'those' words came out of your mouth? Here's a peek beneath the surface.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS