ProConnect

Fix for the Bad Habit that Hurts Your Marriage

By

Fix for the Bad Habit that Hurts Your Marriage
Don't let your insecurity come between you and your partner

Take some time to look at the ways that your low self esteem make themselves known in your life. Trace the thoughts, self put-downs or other limiting habits back to beliefs or emotionally painful experiences you may have had.

Write down on paper the most frequent ways that low self esteem shows up in your life. Be sure to also write down what you think are the beliefs or past experiences that play/ed a role in you feeling negatively about yourself.

More from YourTango: How Pushy Is TOO Pushy?

Come up with an action plan to strengthen self esteem.

Next and on the same piece of paper, write down any and all actions you could take to start to change your beliefs or heal and let go of your past.

Write down everything that comes into your mind. Don't censor yourself. Then, circle those action steps that you are willing to actually do.

Here are some examples...

  • Look for one thing I DO like about my body every day.
  • Tell my partner how I really feel in a way he (or she) can hear.
  • Remind myself that every man (or woman) I date won't be just like my cheating ex.
  • Make an appointment with a counselor or coach who can help me heal from my past.

Be as specific as you can and, if it helps you follow through, set a deadline by which you will have taken-- or at least started to take-- this action.

Stick with it and build on improvements.

With any habitual way of thinking and living, you're probably going to have slip ups. You will most likely fall back into your usual patterns of comparing yourself to others or putting yourself down.

Be persistent!

The more you can return to and stick with your self esteem strengthening plan, the quicker you'll see results you can be happy with.

More from YourTango: 5 Ways to Bring Your Marriage Back from the Brink of Divorce

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Free yourself from the stress and torment of jealousy AND improve your marriage. Free 7 Jealousy-Stopping Secrets ebook at www.nomorejealousy.com

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

4 Questions You Wish You Never Asked Your Partner

By

If you've ever asked yourself the question: "Was it something I said?" chances are, it was. Communication with your spouse or partner can be a tricky business. You may have the best intentions and only want your beloved to move closer to you, but the way you choose to tell your truth and say whatever is on your mind can unintentionally cause ... Read more

4 Game Changers for a Happier Marriage

By

This year’s NCAA basketball tournament is nearing its exciting finish. If you’ve been following your favorite team to see who’s best at college basketball and hoping your bracket picks survive and win, you’ve probably been watching a lot of hoops. You’ve probably noticed something about these adrenaline-rush games... There ... Read more

How Pushy Is TOO Pushy?

By

Without a doubt, one of the most infuriating things in a relationship is when your guy gets quiet and won’t talk. You know he had a bad day and he refuses to talk about it. His response is, “I’m fine,” when you ask. Or you’re sure he’s angry because of something you did, but he won’t talk about it. You can almost ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Cooking Together

6 More Eco-Conscious Ideas For A Better World And A Better You

Here are six tips on how you can have sex more consciously and also be kind to the environment.

Family With 2 Young Kids

What Wise Parents Know About Raising Successful Children

What are we teaching our children when we focus on their achievements rather than their kindness?

Girl Decorates Easter Eggs

"Love is the bridge between you and everything" Rumi

Love is all around us, if we allow yourselves to see it.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS