We've all got habits. Some are good and some are very, very bad!
Wouldn't it be great if there was a fix for your jealousy?
If you could do one thing that would free you from the worry, turmoil and torment that you go through because of your jealousy, would you do it?
We're not promising you a quick fix and we can't guarantee that after you do this you won't ever feel jealous again. But, this is a powerful way to make your jealousy not only manageable, but less damaging to you and your marriage too.
The jealousy fix is to boost your self esteem.
Maybe you've heard this advice before. You're already aware of the ways that your insecurity and sense of worthlessness feed and fuel jealousy.
Maybe your low self esteem plays into jealousy in some of these ways...
- You frequently compare yourself to how beautiful, sexy, fit and/or muscular others are.
- You often listen to yourself talk and are sure you are stupid or have no sense of humor.
- You think about what others have done with their lives so far and feel like a failure.
No matter how you criticize and negatively judge yourself, the results are the same...
You're afraid that your partner will leave you because you believe you aren't worthy of the relationship you have (or want). You become jealous of other people that your spouse comes into contact with and are certain that they are a threat to your relationship.
Your low self esteem can act like a filter. Your view of yourself, your partner and your marriage can all be seriously skewed because your limiting beliefs about yourself twist and turn reality. What seems certain (that your partner will leave you for another, for instance) is actually not certain at all.
There's no doubt about it...
When you address low self esteem, you are also addressing your jealousy habit. The better you feel about yourself and the more you know your worth and value, the clearer and easier it is to create a relationship that truly is in your best interests.
Identify where your self esteem is weakest.
Insecurity and low self esteem aren't all the same. It might center on your perceptions of your body, your education or background, your socio-economic status or what happened to you in the past.
The ways that low self esteem play out in your life will also be different from what someone else experiences. For example, you may be very shy and quiet when around other people while another person may joke around a lot-- especially at his or her own expense.