Fantasies: Should You Tell Your Partner Yours?

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Fantasies: Should You Tell Your Partner Yours?
Is it better to leave your sexual ("Magic Mike") fantasies unspoken?

Tell your fantasies...generally.

Having a fantasy doesn't always mean that something is wrong in your relationship or that you are dissatisfied with and not attracted to your partner.

It might just mean that you're longing for an infusion of something new and exciting IN your relationship, not outside of it. It could mean that you saw or thought about something that turned you on.

Fantasies can be a source of great ideas to bring more passion to intimacy and connection in your relationship...if they're communicated about mindfully. One person's turn on could be a huge turn off to the other if it's carelessly spoken about.

Alex's husband, for instance, interpreted her fantasy request as a criticism of his body. Her request that he pretend to be Channing Tatum triggered insecurities he has about his body that is not as fit or young as he wishes it were. This wasn't Alex's intention, but it's what her husband believed she really meant when she asked him to “strip like Channing does in the movie.”

When you have a fantasy and you want to try it out with your partner, DO IT!

Be sure to talk about your fantasy and make requests in a general way. Get to the mood, scene and characters you're excited by instead of naming specific names of actors, actresses or people you know.

For instance, Alex could ask her husband to pretend to be a male stripper for her. She could even tell him that watching the movie “Magic Mike” gave her the idea but she can make it clear she's not comparing him to Channing Tatum.

Make your partner the star of your fantasies.

Talk about your fantasies in a way that lets your love know that your focus is on him or her. Sure, hunky actors like Channing Tatum and curvy supermodels are gorgeous, but be clear with your partner that you are thrilled to be with the person you're with.

Let your partner know how absolutely attracted to him or her you are AND have fun with your intimacy by playing around together in sexy, new ways.

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Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help individuals and couples attract and create the red hot, passionate love relationship they're looking for. Get their free ebook Passionate Heart ~ Lasting Love here: http://www.relationshipgold.com

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Susie & Otto Collins

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Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
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