Is Facebook Bad for Your Sex Life?
By Susie And Otto Collins. Posted on .
Before talking with your partner about something triggering that you saw on Facebook, question your thoughts first. Ask yourself if this is the only way to interpret the post you saw. Ask yourself if you have reliable information to back up your suspicion. Hint: Look at other observable behaviors and not only Facebook activity.
If your partner appears to be flirting with others on Facebook (or in real life), create conscious agreements so that you’re both on the same page about what is appropriate and what isn’t.
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#2: Resist the urge to compare.
Another passion-crusher is comparing. When you read about the romantic get-away that your friend took with his or her partner, notice it if your mind goes to how UN-romantic your own partner is. Don’t play the comparison game because you’ll always lose.
It’s great to appreciate the anniversaries and expressions of love that your friends post about AND it’s even better to appreciate your own partner and the unique way that he or she shows love to you.
You can use what you read about on Facebook as an inspiration to spice things up in your relationship. Don’t compare-- write down ideas and try out with your partner what appeals to you instead.
#3: Don’t take it personally.
One way to create a rift in your relationship is to take personally off-handed comments that your partner posts (or doesn’t post). There are about a million possible reasons why he or she “liked” a certain post or didn’t comment on one of your posts.
It is probable that the actual reason why has NOTHING personal to do with you.
The vast majority of people flip through their Facebook feeds quickly and without a whole lot of thought. They “like," share and comment within the span of a few minutes. Keep this in mind if you feel offended or neglected by something your partner does (or doesn’t) do on Facebook.
Again, questioning your thoughts is a valuable practice. If you can’t shake your annoyance or upset about your partner’s Facebook comment or action, be specific and ask him or her to “please help me understand....” Then listen, because it’s highly likely the reason isn’t what you assume.
#4: If you wouldn’t say it to your partner’s face...
It’s not just what your partner says or does on Facebook that can impact your relationship. Your sex life can be adversely affected by what YOU say and do too. Remind yourself not to use Facebook as a place for snark, unkind teasing or venting about how irritated you are with your partner.
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Even if you think it’s funny, if your partner won’t like what you’ve said about him or her, it’s going to drive a wedge between you two. It doesn’t matter if you’ve not named names. A veiled dig at your partner’s expense is going to be felt as a put down.
