Why Are Men Attracted to Mean Women?

This can seem to be accurate and, in some cases, it is. In the majority of situations, however, it's not the rude or jerky behavior that is attracting others. It's something else.

What draws people in is confidence. If you look closely at a catty woman or an arrogant man, you're probably going to see a person who — beyond the negative characteristics — is certain and clear about who he or she is. This person's energy says, "I am proud to be me, and you want to get to know me."

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The good news is that you don't have to start being mean to others in order to attract your perfect partner. In fact, we're in no way advocating that anyone should be harsh or nasty as a way to get dates. We do recommend that you learn from the positives of the people you know who are successful at love in a way you'd like to be.

Here are two lessons to learn from the b------ and jerks:

1. Watch your expectations. Be aware of what your expectations are of other men, women and yourself too. Even having the expectation that, if you're a "nice guy" or a "kind woman" you won't attract a partner, is putting up obstacles.

The moment you believe this so-called rule, you put yourself in an impossible situation. You either believe you have to pretend to be a jerk and not who you really are, or you resign yourself to fading into the background and missing out on the love you want.

Neither of these options is in your best interest. Option one dishonors both you and the person you are talking to or are on a date with. Option two keeps you stuck in a place you've already been and don't have to be. It also robs other people of the opportunity to get to know you — and maybe even fall for you.

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Explode the rule by questioning your expectations.