The Couch Potato Trick that Makes Love Last

By

The Couch Potato Trick that Makes Love Last
Do you prefer ice cream or cheese curls?

It’s at this point-- BEFORE you’ve forced the topic or offered your advice--  that we advise you to use the Couch Potato Trick. Respect your partner’s request to not talk about what happened and give him some space. Take that time to soothe your own worries and fears which might mean that you take warm bath, go for a walk or sit and meditate.

This isn’t literally doing nothing, but it IS a far different approach than what you’d normally do, which is to interfere.

“Doing nothing” can be stepping back from an emotionally charged or tense situation with your partner and observing it to get a new perspective. Doing nothing can involve you choosing to breathe and get calm and clear so that when you do decide to act, it’s going to help love last.

Accept and appreciate.
As you stop trying to fix and you catch your breath from all of the work you usually do, your view shifts of your partner, your relationship and even situations that worried you in the past. You can more easily accept what’s going on and maybe even appreciate some aspects of it.

When you accept that your partner is consistently late or doesn’t open up to you emotionally, you aren’t saying that you agree with these behaviors. You’re just giving up the fight to try to make your partner be anyone other than who he or she is right now. It also doesn’t mean that you can’t be honest about how you feel if you are disappointed, sad or angry and it doesn’t mean that you can’t set healthy boundaries.

With acceptance, you’re freer to look beyond whatever the habit is that you used to try to so hard to change in your partner. You can see that there’s a bigger picture and that your love is more than just someone who is shut down or who can’t seem to make it to dinner on time.

Please know, there are some things that we do NOT recommend a “do nothing” approach to. If you have proof that your partner is lying to you or cheating, this is not the time to use the Couch Potato Trick. If you and your partner are hurting one another-- physically, emotionally, verbally or in some other way-- this is not the time to do nothing.

But, if there is no cheating or abuse going on and you regularly feel the urge to make your partner change in some way, consider a new response. Try doing nothing and see what happens within you and in your relationship too.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Find out how to keep Passionate Spark~Lasting Love alive in your relationship. Free advice for amazing love are here: www.relationshipgold.com

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

5 Cures For Your Biggest Jealousy Triggers

By

Sam feels frustrated after a visit with his doctor. His blood pressure is high and he's developing a stomach ulcer. None of these health conditions are a big surprise to Sam. He's been super stressed for months and it's largely because of all of his pent up feelings. It all started when Sam's wife's ex-husband moved back to their small ... Read more

4 Ways Jealousy Actually Helps Your Relationship

By

What you hear about jealousy can be confusing. It's unpleasant, emotionally painful to experience and can cause you to act paranoid and so unlike the person you want to be (and truly are). But... Sometimes, jealousy can seem to get you what you've been longing for — your partner's attention. This is why certain websites and magazine ... Read more

Keeping Score Kills Love: 5 Ways To Change This Dynamic

By

We've all been there. Your partner has put you off, let you down or totally messed up so many times, you have a running tally going and it only fuels your irritation and anger. One woman posted on Reddit a spreadsheet her husband actually created and sent to her that listed off every excuse she'd given him over the past month for not having sex. He ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB