And when you hear that someone you know is getting a divorce, offer that person kindness and compassion and also use that as a reminder to check in with yourself about the state of your own marriage. Without descending into a blame game, identify where resentments, disagreements and disconnection have formed and clear up and improve those areas.
Want to protect your marriage from divorce? Remember this...
1. Stop fearful projections.
If your friend’s divorce has you imagining what it would be like to go through the same kind of heartbreak and upheaval, stop yourself. You won’t be able to really be there for your loved one who is actually experiencing divorce--who could use your support right now-- and you certainly won’t be in an open and loving place with your own spouse when you do this. Recognize that you’re projecting and return your attention to what’s true now.
2. Be honest.
Speaking of what’s true now... it’s really important for you to be honest with yourself. Do you and your partner have a habit of tiptoe-ing around sensitive topics? Do you get jealous easily? Have you stopped having sex or being intimate? Acknowledge what’s gone off track in your relationship and do so without pointing fingers.
3. Turn around disconnection.
ASAP come up with a plan and begin to turn around whatever is happening in your marriage that weakens trust or takes you two apart. The plan could be one that you and your spouse come up with together and agree to. It could even be something that you create and put into practice by yourself. It’s better if you’re working together with your partner, but big improvements can occur even if you are the only one to make changes.
4. Cherish what you have.
Hearing about your co-worker’s divorce may make you more critical of your own relationship. Notice it if you become negative or start to only see the stuff that’s going “wrong.” Do address these problem areas, but remember to shine a light on and appreciate what’s working and what you enjoy about your spouse and your marriage.
When you genuinely cherish what you have with your partner, you can build on those good feelings. This can be your springboard to an even better marriage...one that lasts.
Keeping the spark alive in your marriage or long-term love relationship can be your reality, no matter what’s going on in the lives of other people. Get more tips and strategies for a Passionate Spark~Lasting Love at www.relationshipgold.com