Can You “Catch” Divorce?

By

Can You “Catch” Divorce?
4 strategies to protect your marriage when divorce is all around.

And when you hear that someone you know is getting a divorce, offer that person kindness and compassion and also use that as a reminder to check in with yourself about the state of your own marriage. Without descending into a blame game, identify where resentments, disagreements and disconnection have formed and clear up and improve those areas.

Want to protect your marriage from divorce? Remember this...

1. Stop fearful projections.
If your friend’s divorce has you imagining what it would be like to go through the same kind of heartbreak and upheaval, stop yourself. You won’t be able to really be there for your loved one who is actually experiencing divorce--who could use your support right now-- and you certainly won’t be in an open and loving place with your own spouse when you do this. Recognize that you’re projecting and return your attention to what’s true now.

2.  Be honest.
Speaking of what’s true now... it’s really important for you to be honest with yourself. Do you and your partner have a habit of tiptoe-ing around sensitive topics? Do you get jealous easily? Have you stopped having sex or being intimate? Acknowledge what’s gone off track in your relationship and do so without pointing fingers.

3. Turn around disconnection.
ASAP come up with a plan and begin to turn around whatever is happening in your marriage that weakens trust or takes you two apart. The plan could be one that you and your spouse come up with together and agree to. It could even be something that you create and put into practice by yourself. It’s better if you’re working together with your partner, but big improvements can occur even if you are the only one to make changes.

4. Cherish what you have.
Hearing about your co-worker’s divorce may make you more critical of your own relationship. Notice it if you become negative or start to only see the stuff that’s going “wrong.” Do address these problem areas, but remember to shine a light on and appreciate what’s working and what you enjoy about your spouse and your marriage.

When you genuinely cherish what you have with your partner, you can build on those good feelings. This can be your springboard to an even better marriage...one that lasts.

Keeping the spark alive in your marriage or long-term love relationship can be your reality, no matter what’s going on in the lives of other people. Get more tips and strategies for a Passionate Spark~Lasting Love at www.relationshipgold.com

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

8 Reasons Why You Should Have More Sex If You're Over 50

By

Aging can be a pretty serious business...but it doesn't have to be! It's inevitable that changes happen in your life and your body as you get older. Kids grow up and start having kids of their own. You retire or get closer to retirement. These are just two radical departures from what you've known, and there are more. Your body changes. Signs of ... Read more

3 Ways Your 'Better Half' Is Ruining Your Relationship

By

"Cheers to the perfect couple!" Heart-felt words like these can actually doom a relationship. Did you know that your well-meaning congratulations to a new couple could solidify dangerous myths about love? Beliefs about relationships were the focus of a recent study conducted by researchers at the University of Toronto and the results ... Read more

What To Do When You Feel Needy

By

It is a rare person who hasn't ever felt needy. You know the feeling. The urge to know — in that moment — that the one you love is interested in you, cares about how you're doing, wants to spend time with you and genuinely loves you. You want some sign that you're special to your spouse or partner. What's emotionally painful about ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular