5 clues your man will never change...
Is your guy wonderful in every way...except for the fact that he gets around a lot?
Maybe he’s someone you’ve had a huge crush on for a long time or maybe the two of you have been sleeping together or even dating for awhile and you’ve been hoping and waiting for him to commit to you (one day).
The question you’re asking yourself is this...
“Can he be reformed from his womanizing ways or am I just wasting my time?!”
It’s tough to know the answer to this question. While plenty of wild men and women do settle down and end up happy in committed long-term relationships, there are plenty of others who don’t. Some people crave the freedom to date whomever they please and that might include intimacy with whomever they please as well.
“Womanizer” is a pretty harsh term. It brings to mind a guy who not only won’t make commit to be monogamous, but also one who sleeps around with a lot of different women, and doesn’t really care who he hurts.
Your man may not be an insensitive womanizer according to this definition, but he may be reluctant to be the kind of partner you’re looking for. Your dilemma is to figure out whether or not he’ll change if you’re patient long enough or if you say or do the “right” things.
There are no guarantees when it comes to dating and relationships, but be on the lookout for these clues that he’s probably NOT going to stop being a womanizer...
#1: He’s quick to promise.
What does your guy say when you start talking about being a couple or, if you’re already a couple, about being monogamous? If he instantly tells you that he’s sorry and will stop flirting, sexting, sleeping around (or whatever he’s doing), this might indicate that he doesn’t really mean it. On the other hand, if he pauses to really listen to and think about what you’re asking him to do before responding, then his promise might be coming from the heart.
#2: He’s quick to break a promise.
How many second chances should your man get? That’s up to you to decide. But if he regularly breaks promises-- when it comes to womanizing or anything else-- this demolishes trust and it could mean he’s just not willing to follow through.
Make sure that any agreement you ask your man to make is one that you BOTH are truly okay with and remember, threats and ultimatums don’t work. You can’t force or manipulate someone to change or commit to a relationship with you.
#3: He makes excuses.
“I wouldn’t sleep with other women if you had sex with me more often!” What’s your guy’s excuse for womanizing? If you mostly hear a list of the reasons why he does what he does instead of him taking responsibility for his choices, this is a clue that he’s probably not going to change anytime soon.
#4: He blames others.
Another way to avoid taking responsibility for his actions is to blame others. If he blames other women who are “too sexy,” “irresistible” or “she came on to me,” then it’s likely he’ll keep on doing what he’s been doing. There can be situations and circumstances that influence him, but without taking ownership for his role, there’s little chance he’ll make a change.
#5: He refuses to talk about it.
When your guy changes the subject or flat-out refuses to talk about his behavior, this is probably a sign that he’s going to continue. Pay attention to how you’re communicating. Jealousy, accusations and nagging will put him on the defensive and he may give you the silent treatment because of it. You can be upfront without getting critical. Talk about the kind of commitment you want and ask him if he’s willing to agree to that.
If you’re with a womanizer, be smart. Make sure you two talk openly about what you each expect from the relationship or arrangement you’ve got going on and use protection to keep yourself sexually healthy too.
No matter how wonderful or “right" for you he seems to be, when you’re not seeing signs that he’ll make (and keep) the kind of commitment you want, decide what’s truly best for you.
Are you asking yourself whether you should stay in or leave this relationship? Advice to help you make a decision that’s best for you is here in our free report: “The 5 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Deciding Whether to Stay in or Leave a Relationship.”