Is your guy wonderful in every way...except for the fact that he gets around a lot?
Maybe he’s someone you’ve had a huge crush on for a long time or maybe the two of you have been sleeping together or even dating for awhile and you’ve been hoping and waiting for him to commit to you (one day).
More from YourTango: How to Fix a Relationship After Cheating
The question you’re asking yourself is this...
“Can he be reformed from his womanizing ways or am I just wasting my time?!”
It’s tough to know the answer to this question. While plenty of wild men and women do settle down and end up happy in committed long-term relationships, there are plenty of others who don’t. Some people crave the freedom to date whomever they please and that might include intimacy with whomever they please as well.
“Womanizer” is a pretty harsh term. It brings to mind a guy who not only won’t make commit to be monogamous, but also one who sleeps around with a lot of different women, and doesn’t really care who he hurts.
Your man may not be an insensitive womanizer according to this definition, but he may be reluctant to be the kind of partner you’re looking for. Your dilemma is to figure out whether or not he’ll change if you’re patient long enough or if you say or do the “right” things.
There are no guarantees when it comes to dating and relationships, but be on the lookout for these clues that he’s probably NOT going to stop being a womanizer...
#1: He’s quick to promise.
What does your guy say when you start talking about being a couple or, if you’re already a couple, about being monogamous? If he instantly tells you that he’s sorry and will stop flirting, sexting, sleeping around (or whatever he’s doing), this might indicate that he doesn’t really mean it. On the other hand, if he pauses to really listen to and think about what you’re asking him to do before responding, then his promise might be coming from the heart.
#2: He’s quick to break a promise.
How many second chances should your man get? That’s up to you to decide. But if he regularly breaks promises-- when it comes to womanizing or anything else-- this demolishes trust and it could mean he’s just not willing to follow through.
Make sure that any agreement you ask your man to make is one that you BOTH are truly okay with and remember, threats and ultimatums don’t work. You can’t force or manipulate someone to change or commit to a relationship with you.
More from YourTango: Can Arguing Make You a Closer Couple?
#3: He makes excuses.
“I wouldn’t sleep with other women if you had sex with me more often!” What’s your guy’s excuse for womanizing? If you mostly hear a list of the reasons why he does what he does instead of him taking responsibility for his choices, this is a clue that he’s probably not going to change anytime soon.
#4: He blames others.