How To Prolong 'The Honeymoon Phase'

By

How To Prolong 'The Honeymoon Phase' [EXPERT]
Four ways to stay close, connected and passionately in love throughout your marriage.

Is the shelf life for passion in a marriage only two years?

According to recent research by psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky at UC Riverside, married couples tend to experience something called the "two-year passion bump." Also known as the "honeymoon phase," this is usually a time when attraction peaks. During this time, people in couples can't seem to get enough of each another. But only two years?!

 

Lyubomirsky's research found that after the passion bump, red-hot love morphs into something a little bit different. It can turn into a deepening sense of affection and compassion but lacks that more primal feeling of sexual attraction and connection.

There is a lot of value in having plenty of love, affection and compassion in your relationship. In fact, without these things, passion cannot thrive. There's no doubt that a healthy sense of passion is also a must. Unfortunately, too many couples have relationship problems because they don't have much passion left.

Resentment can build from dissatisfying or infrequent sex, and boredom can set in; irritation and annoyance crop up easily; connection between the couple can become strained or shallow; one (or both) might look outside of the marriage for passion and intimacy. In other words, when passion dies, the very heart of the relationship dies right along with it.

We don't doubt that the two-year passion bump is the trend for many, many married couples and those who are in long-term love relationships together. But, we believe that passion doesn't have to taper off or die after two years, twelve years or even twenty years. It is possible to keep the passion and spark stoked in your relationship. Here's how:

1. Question your beliefs. Just because it's the trend, doesn't mean it's going to be the reality in your relationship. Many couples go into their relationship or marriage with the expectation that passion will die — it seems inevitable. Keep reading ...

More relationship advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

The Must-Read Social Networking Safety Guide For Couples

By

"It's harmless! I don't know why you're getting so uptight about this!" Justin tells his girlfriend Ellen — and not for the first time. He can't understand why she feels so threatened by the comments that Justin posts about and to other women. He also doesn't see why she makes such a big deal about it all. To ... Read more

3 Things You MUST Do To Breakup-Proof Your Relationship

By

We all mess up at one time or another. In the vast majority of cases, when a relationship is in trouble and teetering on the verge of a breakup, there's a complicated array of reasons why. Even if there was (or is) an affair, both people in the relationship played a part in creating the disconnection and dysfunction that helped set the ... Read more

Is Your Romance Hopelessly Doomed Because Of Your Age Difference?

By

Does the age gap between you and your lover you up at night (and we don't mean in a good way)?  It's hard to escape all the relationship studies and polls that say your May-December romance is doomed, including the latest research that seems to indicate that the larger the age gap between two people who are married, the higher the chance ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular