Can You Live With Your Partner's Quirks?

By

forgive me
Gratitude is vital to a relationship or marriage, even if they are annoying at times ...

Acknowledge your role in an unhealthy dynamic going on in your relationship. Reach out to your partner and talk about how it feels for you when _____ happens. If at all possible, create agreements that will bring improvement and then follow through with what was agreed upon.

Be real about how you feel. If you're unhappy in your relationship, don't gloss over your true feelings. You deserve to be satisfied and treated with kindness and love. So does your partner. How An Unhappy Marriage Can Damage Your Health

One way you can treat your partner more lovingly, by the way, is to take a wider view of who he or she is so that you see more than just the flaws. Another way you can treat your partner more lovingly is to stop pretending that certain habits aren't tearing you two apart.

Be Willing To See The Positive Aspects Of The Annoyances

There are actually positive aspects hidden among most annoying habits. These are not easy to see. If you can find and acknowledge what's potentially positive about your mate's irritating characteristics, you can usually move into a more genuinely grateful place.

Here's how this could work:

Perhaps your partner has a temper. He or she seems to fly off the handle about any little thing. It certainly can be upsetting to be in a relationship with a person like this and it might be that you decide staying with this person is not in your best interest.

If you do choose to stay in the relationship, however, you could invite yourself to find some positive aspects of your partner's temper. Here are a few:

  • It helps you see how destructive anger is.
  • It teaches you to pay attention to your own anger.
  • It prompts you to learn how to set boundaries.
  • It's leading you and your partner to talk honestly and openly about ways to communication more peacefully with one another.

When you find positive aspects of your partner's annoying habits, this doesn't mean that those habits are suddenly okay with you or pleasing to you. What it does is help you see more than just your annoyance. It helps you know that your partner can be irritating at times, and that there is more to him or her and the situation than just the irritation. Are You Guilty Of These Annoying Couple Habits?

This is the place where gratitude can come in and literally transform you and your relationship.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*If you are being abused in any way, take it seriously and decide whether staying in the relationship is healthy and wise for you. Don't allow the mistreatment to continue.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the relationship they desire.  Click here to get their free ebook, Passionate Heart-Lasting Love.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

When Change Is A Bad Thing for You and Your Relationship

By

How much money would you spend and to what degree of discomfort and possible pain would you go to in order to please your partner or attract a relationship? This is a question that many of us have grappled with at one point or another in our adult lives. Sometimes, the imperative to change doesn't even come from the one we love. It can be an internal ... Read more

8 Reasons Why You Should Have More Sex If You're Over 50

By

Aging can be a pretty serious business...but it doesn't have to be! It's inevitable that changes happen in your life and your body as you get older. Kids grow up and start having kids of their own. You retire or get closer to retirement. These are just two radical departures from what you've known, and there are more. Your body changes. Signs of ... Read more

3 Ways Your 'Better Half' Is Ruining Your Relationship

By

"Cheers to the perfect couple!" Heart-felt words like these can actually doom a relationship. Did you know that your well-meaning congratulations to a new couple could solidify dangerous myths about love? Beliefs about relationships were the focus of a recent study conducted by researchers at the University of Toronto and the results ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular