Can You Live With Your Partner's Quirks?
By Susie And Otto Collins. Posted on .
Acknowledge your role in an unhealthy dynamic going on in your relationship. Reach out to your partner and talk about how it feels for you when _____ happens. If at all possible, create agreements that will bring improvement and then follow through with what was agreed upon.
Be real about how you feel. If you're unhappy in your relationship, don't gloss over your true feelings. You deserve to be satisfied and treated with kindness and love. So does your partner. How An Unhappy Marriage Can Damage Your Health
More from YourTango: Is There a Cure for His Wandering Eye?
One way you can treat your partner more lovingly, by the way, is to take a wider view of who he or she is so that you see more than just the flaws. Another way you can treat your partner more lovingly is to stop pretending that certain habits aren't tearing you two apart.
Be Willing To See The Positive Aspects Of The Annoyances
There are actually positive aspects hidden among most annoying habits. These are not easy to see. If you can find and acknowledge what's potentially positive about your mate's irritating characteristics, you can usually move into a more genuinely grateful place.
Here's how this could work:
Perhaps your partner has a temper. He or she seems to fly off the handle about any little thing. It certainly can be upsetting to be in a relationship with a person like this and it might be that you decide staying with this person is not in your best interest.
If you do choose to stay in the relationship, however, you could invite yourself to find some positive aspects of your partner's temper. Here are a few:
- It helps you see how destructive anger is.
- It teaches you to pay attention to your own anger.
- It prompts you to learn how to set boundaries.
- It's leading you and your partner to talk honestly and openly about ways to communication more peacefully with one another.
When you find positive aspects of your partner's annoying habits, this doesn't mean that those habits are suddenly okay with you or pleasing to you. What it does is help you see more than just your annoyance. It helps you know that your partner can be irritating at times, and that there is more to him or her and the situation than just the irritation. Are You Guilty Of These Annoying Couple Habits?
More from YourTango: 5 Insights Soulmates Need to Know
This is the place where gratitude can come in and literally transform you and your relationship.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*If you are being abused in any way, take it seriously and decide whether staying in the relationship is healthy and wise for you. Don't allow the mistreatment to continue.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the relationship they desire. Click here to get their free ebook, Passionate Heart-Lasting Love.
