She remembers the days when she only left her desk for meetings and to go to the bathroom during the workday. She remembers the pain of migraine headaches and how quickly she used to get jealous when her boyfriend even looked in the direction of another woman.
Julie now makes time for renewal and relaxation during her day. She rarely has migraines anymore and her relationship is much happier.
#3: Don't give away your power.
When self confidence lags, you can feel walked on and taken advantage of so quickly you hardly know what's happening. The trick is to stay aware of how you feel and to stop giving away your power.
Realize that YOU get to choose whether or not you will give away your power by consciously responding to a tense or tricky situation.
Jarrod nervously paces the room. He doesn't want to let his son down by missing his end-of-the-year band concert, but Jarrod knows that his ex will be there with her new husband.
His ex's husband is a big guy who works out at the gym every day. This is even more intimidating because the guy has made threatening comments to Jarrod telling him to have as little contact as possible with his ex.
When Jarrod remembers that HE gets to choose whether or not he'll attend and enjoy his son's concert, this is a new realization. He decides to go to the concert and to sit in a different section of the auditorium from them. His son-- not his ex or her husband-- will be his main focus.
#4: Expect what you DO want.
Building confidence is about being aware of your focus and also about expectations. When you've experienced a string of failures, losses and disappointments, it can be challenging to change your expectations.
Give it a try anyway. You can start out small and encourage yourself to expect that what you DO want will happen instead of always bracing for the worst. If what you do want doesn't happen, remind yourself that this is this time-- it might be different the next time.
Karen is pretty sure she’s a magnet for guys who lie and cheat because every single love relationship she’s been in has ended with her partner betraying her. It’s made her hesitant to ever get into another relationship again!
But she’s lonely and doesn’t want to end up all alone, so she accepts a dinner invitation from a guy who works in her office building. She is super nervous because she doesn’t really know much about him.
This time, Karen decides that she’ll go on the date with an expectation that this man is a nice guy and she’ll wait until she gets to know him to decide whether or not she can trust him and whether or not she wants to spend more time with him.
It feels good to go into a first date with optimism instead of her usual dread. She’s hopeful that, at the very least, she’ll have fun getting to know someone new.