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Be Confident...Even When It Seems Impossible

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Be Confident...Even When It Seems Impossible
Dating advice to get you into the arms of your perfect partner

Those hide at the back of the room, cringe-worthy, embarrassing, self-silencing and even ashamed moments don't stop when you become an adult. As just about every one of us knows, it's not only teenagers who struggle with low self-confidence. 

Low self esteem and insecurity plague people of any age. 

More from YourTango: 4 Questions You Wish You Never Asked Your Partner

Going through life with low or no confidence can really hold you back in your love relationship and when attracting dates. If you don’t value you, then nobody else will either.

If you’ve ever tried to pretend, you know that confidence can't be faked. You can't just snap your fingers and decide to now feel worthy and proud of who you are. It's nearly impossible to will healthy self-confidence when-- on the inside-- you don't believe in yourself. 

If you’re ready to feel great about where and who you are, then keep reading...

#1: Pause
This is crucial. When you pause instead of barreling ahead with a reaction (even if that reaction is only internal), you are only reinforcing what you've already got going on. If low self confidence is what you've got going on, then you're only going to make that stronger. 

Instead, remind yourself to pause before you speak or act in any situation-- especially difficult ones.

Like this... 

Liam is tired of being single, but he dreads parties. His friends are always trying to set him up with women and he sees himself as a dismal failure in these settings. He gets nervous and can’t think of anything clever to say to impress the woman he’s talking to.

Most of the time, Liam is only able to give short answers to the questions the woman asks. It’s painfully awkward and he’s never surprised when she starts looking around for someone else to talk to.

The next time one of Liam’s friends pushes him toward an attractive woman, he pauses and asks his friend to introduce him in a few minutes. Before he’s introduced to her, he goes to the bathroom to give himself a pep talk.

Whatever helps you re-connect with yourself and be calm and centered, do it! Give yourself support as you step out of your comfort zone.

#2: Regularly re-charge and re-new. 
What does making regular time for exercise, yoga, reading a novel, taking a bubble bath or playing frisbee with your dog in the park have to do with self confidence? 

Everything!

More from YourTango: 4 Game Changers for a Happier Marriage

When you're relaxed, well hydrated, nourished and rested, you are better equipped to be your best in just about any situation.

Julie sighs contentedly as she leaves the yoga studio after a midday class. Her body feels pleasantly stretched. Her mind is clear and her usually tight shoulders are loose and relaxed. 

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

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