We do not believe that the traditional order of operations for a relationship was ever the only right way. What's essential is for you to find a way to believe this too — to really believe it. Make peace with the decisions you've made in your life, even those that you feel some regret about or you wish had been slightly different. This might mean that you stop your thoughts when they dwell on what your great aunt said about how "long" it took you and your partner to get married. Love: The Key to Fighting Fair In A Relationship
It might mean that you politely change the subject when your father worries aloud about your children being brought up in a home where the parents aren't married (yet or ever). Instead, you can intentionally focus on the specific ways that the timing has been perfect in your relationship and life. Your children came at just the right time and you and your partner are growing your commitment to one another in just the right way. You don't even have to argue with your relatives or defend your decisions unless you want to. "Should We Make Up?"
Make your own way right for you and tune out the critics — especially the critic in your own mind. The more you can make peace with how your relationship has developed, the easier it will be to stay focused on what keeps you, your partner and your children close and connected. You can celebrate the many blessings in your life and after all, that's what's most important anyway.
Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the relationship they desire. Click here to get their free ebook, Passionate Heart-Lasting Love.
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