Who didn't sing that annoying little elementary school song as a kid? " First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage!" It seems that celebrity couple Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt did not follow the path laid out in that teasing grade-school tune or what has been considered the traditional "rule" for a couple: you fall in love, get married and then have babies. How To Handle Your Jealous Spouse
They've been a couple for about six years, have six children together, and have recently confirmed that they are engaged to be married. Jolie and Pitt aren't the first or only couple to break what's assumed to be tradition when it comes to a relationship. Perhaps this is yet another sign that, when it comes to love, there aren't any rigid or absolute rules. Things happen as they happen.
Life doesn't always work out the way that we might have envisioned it, let alone the way we or others think it "should" go. We know that this traditional sequence of events — love, marriage, and then babies — has not been the only way for quite some time now. Jolie and Pitt are certainly not the first couple in history to have children before getting married. How To Date A Man Who Has Kids
Unfortunately, if the trajectory of your relationship hasn't followed this traditional order of operations, this might be a source of stress, tension or even shame. As happy as you are for the love you share with your partner and children, comments from others might dampen that happiness. Worse yet, your guesses about what others might think about your so-called "nontraditional" relationship situation might block intimacy with your partner and prevent you from fully connecting with your family.
Do you feel regret, guilt or shame about the choices you've made about when to have children and when (or if) to get married? If so, just notice that you feel this way and know that it doesn't cancel out the love you have for your partner and children. Know that acknowledging these possibly hidden feelings — whether they come from your or another person's belief system — is a first step in freeing yourself.
The intention here is to free yourself so that you can open yourself fully to your partner and to your children. You can love one another and feel good about what you've created in your life so far. Are You Worried Your Partner Will Cheat...Again?
As uncomfortable as it might be to admit to yourself that even a small part of you feels ashamed about the way your relationship has developed, admit it. Please remember, admitting that you feel regret or shame does not mean that you've done anything wrong. You have not!