Are You Making the Best of It Or Settling for Less?
By Susie And Otto Collins. Posted on .
Your responses to this question aren’t “bad” or “wrong,” but if they are driven by “shoulds,” then we encourage you to back up and take a different approach.
Instead of focusing in on what you believe you “should” or “have to” do, think about what you “want” to do and what will help you create the amazing life you deserve.
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#2: You’re in this alone.
If you’ve been having troubles with your partner, it’s likely that you already do feel alone. Distance and strained intimacy can leave you feeling isolated even if your partner is physically still very present in your life.
Assess just how alone you truly are as you decide whether to stay in or leave your relationship.
Consider not just your perception that you’re in this relationship alone, but look for observable and consistent proof to back it up. When you are truly the only one in your relationship who is actively interested in and trying to make improvements, this could indicate that your partner has-- on some level-- already moved on in energy and focus.
This might be a sign that you’re holding onto a relationship that has already basically died. Holding on when your relationship is past reviving is just another way to settle for less.
#3: You compromise your priorities and values.
There is a difference between compromising on your values and listening to find a solution you and your partner can both can be happy with.
It’s detrimental to become rigid and closed down to what your partner wants or suggests. When you and your partner have a disagreement, try to listen with as much openness as possible. Know your limits and what you won’t negotiate about, but be flexible where you can. This is good for communication and promotes problem-solving.
Don’t make the mistake of sacrificing what’s meaningful to you in the guise of trying to get along. Many who are making the “best” of an unhealthy and dying relationship consistently throw out what is most important to them in an effort to keep peace, please or just get by.
When you compromise on your values, you end up feeling like you’ve lost yourself or you don’t know who you are anymore. You’ve let your priorities go to try to save your relationship. This is NOT beneficial for you and it doesn’t help your relationship either.
Remember, every relationship is different. Just because you can identify with these signs doesn’t mean that your only choice is to end your relationship. Take the time to discover what the next best step is for you.
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