Are You Making the Best of It Or Settling for Less?
By Susie And Otto Collins. Posted on .
It’s been a rough month for Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy, Britney Spears and Jason Trawick and Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez.
All three of these celebrity couples have announced that they’re breaking up.
More from YourTango: Talk So That He REALLY Listens
Making the decision to end a love relationship or marriage is usually not made on impulse. It’s rare for a person to be madly in love one day and ready to pack up and leave the next. Usually, it’s something that’s been building for quite awhile.
It’s probable that all involved in these celebrity breakups grappled with some heavy questions in the months (and maybe years) leading up to their decision to file for divorce or pack up and leave.
The question of whether to stay in or leave a relationship is possibly one of the biggest a person will make in his or her life.
It can be complicated by concerns about children, financial worries, hope for change and a desire to not disappoint the other person or extended family. Complications such as these may cause you to stay in an unhappy and maybe unhealthy relationship. It can seem easier and less risky to simply settle for what you’ve got and learn how to deal with the conflict and distance than it is to end the relationship.
How are you making the “best” of an unhappy relationship?
Sometimes in life it’s necessary to make the “best” of a difficult situation.
It rains when you had plans for a picnic. You get a flat tire on the way to a concert. There’s nothing you can do about whatever is going on and so you figure out how to salvage the situation and try to have as good a time as you can.
Unfortunately, too many couples treat their love relationship or marriage in the same way.
Serious issues like lying, cheating, complete breakdown of communication or even abuse are ongoing and the couple tries to just make the “best” of it.
There’s a time for being patient and holding on until a challenging situation eases and changes and there’s a time to realize that it would be better for all involved if the relationship ends.
The key is to know which time it is in your relationship. Are you just settling for less and hoping your relationship problems will work themselves out?
3 ways to know that it’s time to end your relationship...
#1: Your “shoulds” outweigh your “wants.”
Ask yourself this question and answer it without trying to think of the “right” answer...
More from YourTango: Study: Why We Lie About Our Sexual Pasts
“Why do I stay in this relationship?”
We’re guessing that many of your uncensored answers include the word “should.” Maybe you’re staying because you think you “should” for the sake of your kids, to be kind, to prove you can make this work, to show your family and friends that you can have a lasting relationship or for some other reason.
