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All I Want for Christmas is....TRUST

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All I Want for Christmas is....TRUST
No matter what’s happened in the past, you CAN bring more trust into your relationship and life

Your partner might feel defensive or angry because he or she feels accused or somehow deficient and untrustworthy in your eyes. Your connection may become strained and contentious, even about "little" things. Distance between the two of you might build because you keep holding back and hesitating.

With weak or no trust, your relationship will suffer and possibly die. 

More from YourTango: How Pushy Is TOO Pushy?

Trust is that important. 

Learning to trust is a gift you give yourself

Without trust, your ability to live a happy, peaceful and satisfied life will be compromised. At the root of mistrust is often weak or low trust in your own judgment. For this reason, we urge you to consciously begin to learn to trust again.

If  a painful past experience is the reason why you don’t trust your partner, make healing and letting go of the past a top priority. Maybe you blame yourself for choosing to trust the person who let you down or betrayed you. If so, forgive yourself and acknowledge the ways that--at the time-- you did the best you could.

Renew your connection with yourself  and your intuition. Your intuition is that deep, inner knowing that helps you distinguish between the guesses or stories you tell yourself that are not based on reliable information AND the information that you do need to pay close attention to. 

It’s never wise to blindly trust and you are the one who makes the decision about whether or not to trust someone. As you re-connect with your intuition, you’ll begin to see that you can make decisions that are smart and that support you-- in fact, you already are.

The magic that happens when you have strong and healthy trust in yourself is that you are confident and certain-- even if you don't like what you have discovered. You listen to what you are being told from within and you make decisions based on that reliable information.

You will be more at peace because the inner conflict of constant doubt and fear will disappear. Your self esteem will improve as you feel more and more sure about your judgment and your ability to know what is good for you and what is not. You can more easily focus on creating the kind of life YOU most want instead of feeling helpless or like a victim. 

Healing and letting go of the past to make room for healthy trust  is a gift that you not only give yourself, but you give your relationship too.

Every time you pause to question a thought that pops into your head instead of lashing out in jealousy or suspicion is a gift that strengthens trust and your connection with your partner. Every time you let clear-thinking guide what you say and do, you open up to moving closer to the one you love.

This can make for a very joyful holiday!

More from YourTango: 5 Ways to Bring Your Marriage Back from the Brink of Divorce

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Don't let mistrust and jealousy stand in the way of the love and connection you desire. Get Susie and Otto Collins' free 7 Jealousy-Stopping Secrets at www.nomorejealousy.com
 

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

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