Age Doesn't Have To Matter In Marriage

By

Age Doesn't Have To Matter In Marriage
How to avoid the hazards of an age gap in your marriage

It was the difference in their ages that killed the relationship...

At least this is what Supermodel Cindy Crawford seems to think. She recently opened up in an interview on Oprah’s Master Class about why she believes the 15 year age gap between she and ex-husband Richard Gere led to divorce after 4 years together.

 

Crawford explains that, "I think I was more willing at 22 to be, like, 'Okay, I'll follow,' but then you start going, 'Well, I don't want to just follow – I want to lead sometimes and I want to walk side by side sometimes.'"

What may have been true for Crawford and Gere’s marriage isn’t true for everyone. In fact, many of Crawford’s reasons why her former marriage ended are things that can happen in ANY relationship...even when the couple are exactly the same age. 

People change and this is actually a wonderful thing because it means that we’re learning, growing and expanding. Troubles arise in a love relationship or marriage when one person makes the other one wrong for changing or when the two aren’t willing or able to grow with each other.

Yes, there are some unique aspects to a marriage where there’s a significant difference in age.We know a lot about creating a healthy and close marriage when there’s an age gap because there is a 16 year difference in our ages, but that hasn’t prevented us from keeping love and passion alive.

What we’ve learned is this...

Age does not have to matter.

This is a time when people are living longer and more active and vital lifestyles well into their “golden years.” While there are inevitable changes that most people experience as they get older, these changes don’t have to stand in the way of love and connection.

We’ve discovered that you can create and keep your relationship close and passionate...even if there’s an age gap.

Question your beliefs.
What does stand in the way of you being happy in your marriage are stressful thoughts about yourself, your partner, aging and relationships in general.

Maybe you skip ahead in your mind to what you think it will be like when your partner is “old” and you are still in your prime. Maybe you worry about becoming widowed earlier in life and having to deal with the grief.

Maybe, like Cindy Crawford, you are attributing an unhealthy dynamic to the age difference between you and your partner. You have been content to follow your spouse’s lead, but now would like to step up and experience more leadership or more equality in your marriage.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

6 Rules For Being Kinky — Without Losing Self-Respect

By

This is not a movie review. If you've seen the Fifty Shades of Grey movie or read the novels, you undoubtedly have your own opinion of them. Maybe they've awakened in you a new yearning for kinky sex or maybe they’re not to your liking. Even if you've chosen not to partake of the tale of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, ... Read more

5 Things You MUST Do To Facebook-Proof Your Marriage

By

Beware what you say and do online, because it will come back to haunt you later! Did you know that entire websites are devoted to helping people avoid getting caught flirting and cheating on social media sites like Facebook? This is partly in response to a new trend in divorce proceedings. A recent report says that Facebook is cited as proof of infidelity ... Read more

Two Words That Will Rock Your Relationship

By

Two words that your mom may have chided you to say when you were a kid could be the key to the level of passion you've been yearning for with your partner. Remember when you were reminded (and reminded) to say “Thank you?” Remember when you dutifully muttered, “Thanks” for the hideous sweater your aunt gave you? It turns out that ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular