Age Doesn't Have To Matter In Marriage

By

Age Doesn't Have To Matter In Marriage
How to avoid the hazards of an age gap in your marriage

It was the difference in their ages that killed the relationship...

At least this is what Supermodel Cindy Crawford seems to think. She recently opened up in an interview on Oprah’s Master Class about why she believes the 15 year age gap between she and ex-husband Richard Gere led to divorce after 4 years together.

Crawford explains that, "I think I was more willing at 22 to be, like, 'Okay, I'll follow,' but then you start going, 'Well, I don't want to just follow – I want to lead sometimes and I want to walk side by side sometimes.'"

What may have been true for Crawford and Gere’s marriage isn’t true for everyone. In fact, many of Crawford’s reasons why her former marriage ended are things that can happen in ANY relationship...even when the couple are exactly the same age. 

People change and this is actually a wonderful thing because it means that we’re learning, growing and expanding. Troubles arise in a love relationship or marriage when one person makes the other one wrong for changing or when the two aren’t willing or able to grow with each other.

Yes, there are some unique aspects to a marriage where there’s a significant difference in age.We know a lot about creating a healthy and close marriage when there’s an age gap because there is a 16 year difference in our ages, but that hasn’t prevented us from keeping love and passion alive.

What we’ve learned is this...

Age does not have to matter.

This is a time when people are living longer and more active and vital lifestyles well into their “golden years.” While there are inevitable changes that most people experience as they get older, these changes don’t have to stand in the way of love and connection.

We’ve discovered that you can create and keep your relationship close and passionate...even if there’s an age gap.

Question your beliefs.
What does stand in the way of you being happy in your marriage are stressful thoughts about yourself, your partner, aging and relationships in general.

Maybe you skip ahead in your mind to what you think it will be like when your partner is “old” and you are still in your prime. Maybe you worry about becoming widowed earlier in life and having to deal with the grief.

Maybe, like Cindy Crawford, you are attributing an unhealthy dynamic to the age difference between you and your partner. You have been content to follow your spouse’s lead, but now would like to step up and experience more leadership or more equality in your marriage.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

Keeping Score Kills Love: 5 Ways To Change This Dynamic

By

We've all been there. Your partner has put you off, let you down or totally messed up so many times, you have a running tally going and it only fuels your irritation and anger. One woman posted on Reddit a spreadsheet her husband actually created and sent to her that listed off every excuse she'd given him over the past month for not having sex. He ... Read more

Stress And The State Of Your Relationship

By

Unfortunately, we Americans have become “accomplished” at creating stressful lives for ourselves. A recent nationwide stress survey conducted by NPR, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, and the Harvard School of Medicine asked people how stressed they've been lately and what they do when they're stressed out. Researchers for this study found ... Read more

Can't Trust Because Of Your Ex?

By

You don't trust your partner and there's no good reason for it. You know this, but you can't seem to change it. You check his phone. You shadow her to keep her "safe from creeps." You're constantly anxious and afraid that your partner will cheat... Even though there's no evidence to support your fears. You ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB