It’s never too early to start a love-sustaining habit.
This is what many newlyweds don’t realize. Early in your marriage is the best place to start putting into place powerful ways to communicate and treat one another. Too many couples take it for granted that they can slide along during the newlywed phase of their relationship.
More from YourTango: How to Fix a Relationship After Cheating
“We’re in love, so it’s okay.”
There is a feeling that nothing can ruin that amazing love you’re feeling now. The bond you and your new spouse share seems impervious to the challenges that drag down and tear apart others’ relationships. This belief leads many to get sloppy and that means trouble...often sooner rather than later.
A recent survey by the Marriage Foundation showed that it’s actually the early years of a marriage that a couple is most susceptible to a breakup instead of down the road. This means it’s even MORE important to start your marriage out healthy and close from day 1.
Incorporate these 6 beneficial habits into your daily married life...
1. Prevent icebergs.
What happens when chilly water gets even chillier? It becomes ice and, with the right conditions, it can form an immense iceberg. If you’ve ever had a bitter disagreement with your partner, you’ve felt the chill we’re talking about.
Don’t allow unresolved arguments or hurt feelings to grow. They will become immense and destructive if you let them and they’ll destroy your marriage. Prevent “icebergs” by addressing problems when they first develop. This doesn’t mean you pounce on your partner every time he or she gets quiet or is in a bad mood, but do take the time to sit down together and sort out a misunderstanding or conflict as soon as you notice it.
2. Ask this question...
The vast majority of us tell ourselves stories. We try to understand other people and situations by filling in the blanks with guesses and assumptions-- and most of the time our stories are completely untrue. This causes heartache and hard feelings (on both sides) in your marriage.
Develop the habit of asking your partner this question instead: “Please tell me more.”
More from YourTango: Can Arguing Make You a Closer Couple?
When used as a request for more information and not a demand or interrogation, these words can help you move away from your stories and toward the facts. This leads to a lot less drama and a lot more connection.
3. Be honest.
There are big lies that spouses tell one another about who they had lunch with at work, who they were chatting with online and how many times their ex texted them yesterday and these definitely demolish trust and can lead to divorce.