4 Methods for Dealing with Criticism and Nagging from Your Spouse

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4 Methods for Dealing with Criticism and Nagging from Your Spouse
Stop your partner's put-downs and gripes!

For example, if you know that your partner is under a lot of strain from work, this can help you not to take a criticism personally. If you are aware that your spouse has been feeling down or depressed lately, take this information into consideration.

Again, we're not saying that it's ever okay for you to be verbally abused. But, there are many times when refusing to take your partner's picking personally can be the key to changing this bad relationship habit.

#3: Really listen.

What's going to make a positive difference when dealing with your partner's criticisms is to not join in with the negativity. Soothe yourself so that you don't go along with your mate to a place of irritation, resentment and anger.

The calmer and clearer you are, the easier it will be for you to really listen to your mate.

When you really listen to the need that's being expressed (and that may be hidden in a nag or criticism), you can speak to that need and not to the criticism.

For example, your partner might seem to constantly nag you about helping out around the house and says things like, “It's up to me to keep this place clean because you never help...” You could really listen to his or her need for not only a cleaner house, but also help in keeping things picked up and tidy.

Your response could be a question like, “In what specific ways would you like me to help keep the house clean?” Be willing to really listen to what your partner says. There might be some truth in the criticism that you don't do your share in keeping the house clean.

Be responsible for your own habits and make sincere apologies when appropriate. This can also de-fuse a criticism and shift you both toward finding a resolution instead of keeping you stuck in conflict.

#4: Create agreements.

The more you can move beyond feeling like it's your partner vs. you, the more easily you can stop the picking and complaints.

Create agreements with your partner that will address both of your needs about the situation. You can also create agreements about how you will communicate with one another. Be sure that you are creating agreements together instead of merely imposing your idea and not really getting a full agreement.

It's unhealthy for any marriage to be filled with criticism and nagging. When you stop feeling like a victim to your spouse's put downs, you can start making changes that will bring improvement.
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Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the relationship they desire.  Click here to get their free ebook, Passionate Heart-Lasting Love.
 

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Susie & Otto Collins

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Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
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