Congratulations on 10 years together!
You’ve both probably grown up a bit and learned some valuable lessons along the way. You and your partner are wiser than you were 10+ years ago and you’ve been applying at least some of what you’ve learned to make your life together smoother and easier.
Things may have also mellowed in your relationship. The spark that was once there is dimmer than before. You don’t feel the same thrill to see your partner at the end of the day and you sometimes long for the excitement that’s less frequent or maybe even disappeared.
What can be done to revive passion and connection? THIS...
#1: Prioritize sex.
If you want to have great sex after 10, 20 or even 50 years of marriage, you’ve got to make it important. Maybe you’ve got kids, jobs, pets, parents, and more to think and care about, but you’ve also got this precious relationship. Set aside regular time to connect with your partner in ways that feed and fuel passion.
#2: Be more desirable.
Your partner won’t find you attractive and alluring if you don’t feel that way too. Find things about you-- as you are now-- that you see as beautiful and desirable. Really feel it and stop putting yourself down! This is good for self esteem and gives you an irresistible glow.
#3: Stop killing the mood.
When you hear yourself nagging, griping or complaining to your partner-- even if it’s about someone else-- stop. These habits will kill the mood and push your partner away from you. Address what’s bothering you with the person directly involved so you can be free to live and love the way you want to.
#4: Please yourself.
Make sure you are meeting your own needs-- outside and inside the bedroom. If you frequently put yourself last, you’re probably not enjoying sex with your partner. Please yourself with a visit to the spa, a bubble bath with a good book and in more sensual ways too. The more refreshed and nurtured you are, the more open you’ll be to satisfying sex with your partner.
#5: Ask for what you want.
Resentments can build up over the years and can prevent the kind of connection that you might want with your spouse. Identify what would help resolve your grudges and then communicate that to your partner. Ask him or her to make amends for a past betrayal or to pitch in with house chores. Be specific and clear about what you do want.