Dating 101 for the Single Mom on Mother's day.
In honor of mother’s day, and trying to help singles moms out there not only find a great guy, but keep the relationship going strong, I thought I would help by outlining common dating mistakes single moms make as well as give a few suggestions how to prevent them.
#1 Introducing the children too soon to your date or new love interest.
Introducing your child too soon to your date or special someone is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Single dads are guilty of making this mistake, also. These guys are perfectly fine with you having a child, but you change the dynamic before you really get to know the person by introducing surly teens, or crying toddlers. Keep that romance alive, or the possibility of it, for as long as possible between just the two of you. Sure, he may have children also, and think it’s a good idea for everyone to go to the zoo. When he never calls you again after the kids argued all day, you will know why.
#2 Dating in Mommy Clothes
The guy you are dating doesn’t find your mommy clothes sexy. Some people think he will just accept them because after all, that’s who they are, like it or leave it. Don’t forget you are a single woman first. Make sure you have the appropriate dating attire, and invest in a stylist or enlist your hot single friends to help you “ get your sexy on” with a LBD. You really just don’t look hot in work attire, mom jeans, and sneakers. He will put you in the friend’s zone really quick. SNL doesn’t do the “mom jeans” skit for nothing.
#3 He doesn’t want to listen to your parenting argument with your ex
It’s a mistake to talk about exes on dates, and the only other thing that could be worse is to talk about parenting problems with your ex. It’s such a big dating mistake. Toss in that you think your ex is abusive, and your child is in therapy because he or she is stressed dealing with you and your ex’s problems is really way too much information. He doesn’t want to know about this. He doesn’t want to know you had to contact your lawyer over the visitation arrangements, or anything of this nature. Trust me!! Don’t go there.
#4 Letting a guy sleep over or any signs that this is going on.
People do this all the time. I know some think the kids really believe that when the guys goes out and rings the doorbell, the kids believe he is really showing up for breakfast. Truth is the kids are smarter, and they will catch on soon enough if they haven’t already. Guys know this and deep down they are judging you for it. They don’t want their child’s mom doing it, and they respect you when you don’t allow them to sleep over when your kids are present. Separate your single self from your mommy self and don’t mix the two.
#5 Waiting to date until the kids are grown.
This is another major mistake single women make. Justin Beiber’s mom promised him she wouldn’t date until he was 18. Thank goodness she had him so young, so she is still young enough to have her pick of men. The older you get, the wiser you get as they say. You aren’t getting any hotter though. Youth and looks fade, and let’s face it, people are attracted to these things first. Use it before you lose it. Lots of women already know men date younger. Even if the trend is reversing as some might argue, the older you are, the harder it is to find someone to date. People are paired off. Finding a good one is tough. Get out there and date.
Happy mother’s day to all mothers and especially those single ones looking for love!!
*Susan Trombetti is an expert matchmaker and dating coach. She is CEO and founder of Exclusive Matchmaking and a certified executive member of the matchmaking institute. She has helped many discerning singles discover long-term relationships and partnerships that are both rewarding and fulfilling through her business, Exclusive Matchmaking. She has also been featured several times in Cosmopolitan, Shape, Cupid’s Pulse and many more.