Women: Being Unavailable Versus Playing A Game

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Women: Being Unavailable Versus Playing A Game
Is there a difference between playing hard to get and doing what is right for your life?

Finally, there is a very important reason to step back. It gives you the opportunity to gauge a guy's reaction to you having your own life.  If a guy doesn't want you to leave and shows signs of controlling or being a big baby, you want to know that. If a guy has objections about you retaining your friends and your interests, you want to know that. If a guy wants you to be a no-life nobody who is only interested in you being available to him, you want to know that. If a guy runs off to do inappropriate things when you're not together, you want to know that. If there are red flags, you want to know that. If you pull away or are unavailable and he never tries to pull you closer, you want to know that.   If he demands you answer every text or acts suspicious when you don't, you want to know that.

You want to step back and give him the chance to show you what you mean to him. How does he respond if you're not there? Does he turn into a demanding, control freak or does he not care? Again, you want someone who is willing to give you the space but then says, "I miss you." and asks, in a healthy way, for some "us" time. 

The payoff to being unavailable sometimes and being in control of your time is huge. The payoff is actually much bigger for women than for men. Although it seems like capitulating to the way men naturally like things, it isn't. For women it results in a better life, more interested and interesting men, healthier men, and the ability to pull back and see your own life as well as your budding relationship.

This is not about playing a game. It's about understanding the innate and biological differences between men and women and capitalizing on that instead of being a victim complaining about men who won't commit or suckered into relationships who want to lavish you with love and attention in the beginning and then take off once you are suckered in. If you take your time and sit back, tend to your own life while allowing him to reveal himself to you, that won’t happen.

Once you’re in a relationship, don’t stop taking care of yourself. The payoffs will continue. Taking care of yourself will never be the wrong thing to do.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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