3. Look for the wisdom you can take away from the relationship. There are good reasons it came to an end, but there were also reasons it developed in the first place. Avoid seeing yourself as a victim. Try to learn any lessons you can about your own patterns and needs. Commit yourself to improving any that you don't want to bring forward into a new relationship. Take classes or webinars to brush up on communication and conflict resolution.
4. Pay attention to self-care. Accept your feelings as normal and natural. Don't fight them, but do things that are soothing. Keep yourself looking clean, well-groomed and well-dressed. Eat well. Stay busy.
Once the painful feelings have passed, a new future will unfold before you. Have patience and love yourself until you get back to that place of clear vision.
*Co-authors of the study are: Elizabeth Mostofsky, M.P.H, Sc.D.; Malcolm Maclure, Sc.D.; Jane Sherwood, R.N.; Geoffrey Tofler, M.D.; and James Muller, M.D. Author disclosures are on the manuscript. The National Institutes of Health funded the research.