When he understands your "relationship values" it finally feels like he bathes you in love daily.
"I'm a man of few words," is an axiom for a reason.
Men tend to be less verbally oriented than women. They find it harder to put specifics into words about why they love their lady. But love her they do. For women, because passion starts in our brains, we do like to hear you express your love.
So here is a trick and a cheat sheet to help your lady feel all the love you have for her without needing to say "I love you".
I call this trick, "3 Things I Love About You." This is a a romantic game you can play that will help you feel confident you're telling your lady how much you love her... as often as she needs to hear it.
The two rules of the game are simple:
Rule #1: She gets to ask for you to tell her three things you love about her anytime she wants. She could ask every day for a week, or a month could go by until she asks. But when she asks, you answer.
That way, when she needs encouragement, she knows that all she has to do is ask and you'll answer. You'll be there for her. Her rock.
Rule #2: You can never use an answer twice. So you have to keep coming up with new reasons why you love her. Don't worry. It's not hard! Here's how to make it easy.
Think about the three things as appreciation. What do you appreciate about her today?
- She always dresses so beautifully.
- She takes care of herself well.
- She speaks sweetly to your kids.
- She hasn't ever crashed the car and is a safe driver.
- The meatloaf she made last night was her best ever.
- You love how her mind works. She's a quick thinker.
- You appreciate how well she takes care of so many of her friends.
See how easy it is to think of things you love about your lady? If you take just a moment to consider what she's been doing in the last week, it will be easy to come up with three things you love about her.
My husband and I have been doing this back and forth for 25 years. It's a very sweet way to give her all the love she needs right when she needs it.
And though it's not mandatory to reciprocate every time, you'll find she wants to tell you how much she appreciates you too. This sets up a fortuitous cycle of feeling mutually loved and appreciated.
Now, if you want to take this further and really dial in her happiness, if you want to make her feel like the luckiest woman in the world, and that her guy knows exactly how to make her the most happy and the most loved woman of anyone she knows, here's a second, super ninja shortcut to having your lady feel your love every day without you even taking any extra effort to do so.
Because you know the other axiom, "If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy."
So here's the cheat sheet to making mama happy, so she will make you happy in the ways that matter most to you.
What if your girl got up every morning (after a little fooling around, of course) and every interaction she had with you was the perfect match for your needs? It can be like this for you both.
Once you have a working list of her top relationship priorities (feelings she may even have given up hoping to feel) you can wake up every day and use this cheat sheet to make her indescribably happy with you.
I’m not talking about a long list: Just four things. In all my years of helping men delight their women, four things does the job. Any more and you can’t remember.
And remember to K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid).
Four of the right things:
- You might have some vague idea or fuzzy notion of what she must have to be truly satisfied
- But without a simple process to get really specific, you’re feeling around in the dark.
- It’s time for you to sit down and create your checklist to make mama (and papa) happy.
- Stop the hit and miss guessing.
That love light will be beaming from her eyes like the day you two fell in love.
Thousands of other couples (starting with my husband and me) have used my simple Relationship Magic formula to create a peaceful, fulfilling relationship — even turning around marriages on the brink of divorce!
This remarkable 10-minute shortcut will transport you into a world filled with giggles, pecks on the cheek and fly by hugs. This is one of those, "little hinges that swing big doors" kind of couples’ experiences.
It doesn’t look like much but it MOVES you. Imagine being able to help your lady express her core relationship values so clearly that you will finally understand her and be able to give them to her easily?
What a relief!
With so many grim trends out there, it is no wonder that millions of couples don’t know the answer to what will make them happy. This mystery leads to millions of sour relationships and divorce.
Once you prioritize your top needs, and then give each other specific examples of what to do, it’s pretty darn effortless to become the most amazing love of her life!
That’s why I spent years researching what gives couples a meaningful relationship. I did an exhaustive survey of what men and women value most.
When you find out what it is your partner can’t live without, what they would rather be single than not have, you get down to brass tacks.
Here's how you figure out your top four relationship values. Ask yourself: "Would I stay in a relationship if I couldn’t have (___fill in the blank___)?"
Now your Relationship Magic experience will likely be different from my husband’s and mine, but here’s what made the huge shift in feeling complete love, support, and acceptance in our marriage.
As we did the early version of this Relationship Magic exercise we discovered our top needs were different.
My man's number one need was passion. Mine was security.
For Tim, passion was as much about affection as it was about making love. He wanted me to sit on his lap (I love it!), give him fly by grabs, and dress up in sexy outfits for him. That was easy and fun; I just didn’t know he cared so much about touch and affection.
(If you want a step-by-step fast way to figure out your top relationship values, the quick exercise in my workbook helps you not only prioritize what you most want, but explain in detail the specific ways your partner will generate those feelings in you.)
I wanted security. For me, that meant handling the finances, making sure I had great health care, and getting my car door for me.
Once you prioritize your top needs, and then give each other specific examples of what to do, it’s pretty darn effortless to become the most amazing love of her life! It's a fun date night conversation to talk about what you each want most out of a relationship.
Think about it like this: Follow The Platinum Rule, where you treat her like she wants to be treated (and she reciprocates for you).
You may have been treating her like YOU want to be treated. That's common, but now that you know she values things differently than you do, you can figure out your top four and her top four values.
Taking the guesswork out is the ultimate cheat sheet for a guy.
Then when you get up every day and just focus on what "mama needs," she will do the same for you and that's relationship magic!
Susan Bratton is fondly called "The Marriage Magician" on TV. "When people say, 'Relationships take hard work,' that's only if you don’t have the cheat sheet to her happiness." Avoid pointless arguments, a cold bed and having to work at pleasing her. Download her Relationship Magic workbook for a simple, guided exercise in determining your own relationship values now.