Blow jobs are a gift I give myself.
Most men admit to me that the oral sex they receive from their woman is not as good as they'd hope, yet they won't tell their partner this because they're afraid doing so might demoralize her.
The same way women are afraid to hurt a guy's ego by giving him direction in bed, men don't want to make us feel bad, especially if there's a chance we might take serious offense and refuse not only to work together to improve the situation, but we also may withhold oral favors (or sex of any kind) in response.
After all, even a crappy blowjob is better than NO blowjob.
So they keep their mouths shut and take what they can get when they can get it.
The thing of it is, it's so much more pleasurable for both people involved when a man can lovingly teach his woman what feels good — to him.
Every man has unique preferences regarding how they like being licked, sucked, and caressed along their shaft, head, and balls.
And what few women know, but really, REALLY should, is that if you know how to give head in just the right way, HIS blowjob can trigger HER orgasmic contractions — both in her mouth and in her genitals.
Moreover, 'suckling' a man's penis actually increases the health of his tissues and makes his member bigger in both length and circumference. And, frequent blowjobs also boost his ability to last longer during lovemaking.
Lala, one of my regular readers, shared with me the following:
“I never really enjoyed oral sex, giving or receiving. I have been married 6 months and my husband is 9 inches, which is enough for me. After reading what you wrote about giving head couple of months ago, I started doing oral sex with him and I love doing it because I love him! It turns me on just as much as it does him! Now, his penis can get up to 10.5 or larger! It amazes both of us!”
Wowzer! Lucky girl to have all that length to play with.
Here's the big secret: the gag reflex is actually the beginning of an orgasmic contraction!
Once you realize that gagging is a pathway to female orgasm, you can play with that sensation to the point where it makes you come while you orally pleasure him. He'll be moaning. You'll be moaning. And you can both orgasm from oral pleasuring.
When he experiences you as knowing how to let yourself go and thoroughly enjoy the act of giving him a blowjob he'll be more turned on than ever before.
If you are well attuned to each other, you can relax and "let him drive."
This is when he holds your head with his hands and moves his penis in and out of your mouth while you ride along with the sensations. If you have well-communicated and pre-established signals for when it gets to be a little too much, you can relax and get into the groove of your lives together.
In ancient Rome this practice was referred to as Irrumatio (pronounced 'ear - roo - may-she-O'), and can be explained as "the act of [a man] actively thrusting [his] penis into the mouth of a partner."
Remember that this is something for experienced lovers who have a well-established level of trust established.
When done with conscious intention and focus on each other's pleasure, it can be a truly transcendent experience for you both.
Susan Bratton is a trusted hot sex advisor to millions. She creates simple guides to serious pleasure, including "The Blow Job Secret" — full of excellent tips for deep throating and overcoming the gag reflex so you can experience deeper orgasms from oral play.
This article was originally published at http://personallifemedia.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.