Watch these clues to learn what SHE likes best.
If you want to steadily increase your woman’s sexual hunger — if you want her to look forward to making love as much as you do — all you have to do is be aware of the four areas that influence female sexual desire.
Nice girls say things like, “You really get me going,” or, “I’m feeling excited.”
A naughty girl might say, “Baby, I am sooooo turned on,” or, “You got me so wet.”
Men, on the other hand, have a very different vocabulary: “Baby, you sure are hot,” or, “I want you to come SO hard.”
A more poetic lover might say, “You are a rare hothouse flower, and I am about to make you bloom.”
However you call it, both men and women know that getting her revved up for sex is the key to a good time.
You both recognize that surge of desire, and the signal that tells you making love is a fairly sure bet. And you both know that sexual arousal is a beautiful thing ... a beautiful thing that is often elusive.
That’s why being aware of these four cues to her arousal can help you turn her on in the most direct way. Give her what she needs to want you, and you’re going to increase the quality and quantity of the great sex you have while lowering your fear of being rejected for sex.
Researchers at the Kinsey Institute developed a fascinating model of sexual arousal that can help you better manage the fickle nature of your woman’s turn on.
Their “dual control model” suggests that we each have an accelerator pedal and a brake pedal when it comes to sexual response.
Certain conditions make her a go … other things make her screech the brakes.
Common to us all, these two distinct functions ― gassing and braking ― respond to a wide variety of stimuli in combinations that are unique to each person. Said simply: everybody gets turned on, but the what, when, where and how depends entirely on who you want to make love with.
I’m going to use this accelerator analogy to help you find the sweet spot, unique to your ladylove, that will keep you from driving off the road into a ditch where the only thing that’s sure is “not tonight, dear.”
Knowing what causes her to gas and brake will help you accelerate while staying inside the rumble strips. That way you can proceed at the just-right speed to prevent her from spinning out or crashing the two of you into a wall.
In Come As You Are, The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life, Dr. Emily Nagoski cites research on factors that influence female sexual desire. When women were asked what turns them on, their answers fell into four general categories.
If you want to steadily increase your woman’s sexual hunger so she'll look forward to making love as much as you do, start by putting your attention on these four distinct areas:
1. Love and emotional bonding cues.
You need to get under her hood and figure out what specific actions make her feel loved, secure, and emotionally connected. And once you’ve identified her specific cues, get busy generating those feelings in her on a consistent basis. In other words, take it on and deliver what she needs. Make her feel special.
Recently, my friend Gretchen told me about a man she’s been dating who showed up at her door with a beautiful bouquet of tropical flowers. Gretchen blurted, “Wow. You didn’t buy those at the grocery store!” Her date smiled and said, “I went to two different flower stands to find the exact varieties that remind me of you.”
Not only did his extra effort make her feel special, it gave him bonus points for going above and beyond. It also bumped him over the line from “a guy I’m dating” to “possible boyfriend material.”
In girlfriend-speak, this translates to, “He might make a good lover.”
2. Explicit and erotic cues.
Get busy learning what turns her on and gets her engine purring on a physical level.
- Does she feel a tingle between her legs when she reads erotica?
- How does she respond when she feels your erection?
- Does she moan softly when you push her up against the wall and kiss her passionately?
- Do her eyes light up when you admire her breasts or spank her ass?
Pay close attention to the unique erotic cues that get a positive response from your woman. Then make sure you keep paying attention so you don’t stall out. If your only way of showing your desire is to come up behind her, take her by the hips and pull her back side toward your groin, that approach may run out of gas quickly.
Remember, women like variety as much, if not more, than men do.
3. Visual and proximity cues.
Learn what gets her turned on visually.
- A sheepskin rug carefully laid out in front of a warm fireplace?
- Seeing you walk around the house with wet, tousled hair and nothing but a towel wrapped around your waist?
- Do her eyes get misty when you come home from work and unbutton your shirt so she can see your chest?
If you’re taking her out to dinner, put on her favorite shirt from your collection, even if it’s not the one you like best. And in addition to trimming your beard and nose hairs, manscaping puts you at the top of her consideration list.
Cleanliness ranks #1 according to my, “What Makes A Great Lover” research.
4. Romantic and implicit cues.
Take note of the kind of romantic experiences that get her turned on.
- Does she love to be spooned?
- Does salsa dancing get her hot and bothered?
- Is a sunset walk on the beach one of her favorite ways to relax?
- Do verbal expressions of your undying devotion increase her sexual desire?
Perhaps she’s a woman who swoons when you open the car door for her or remember to walk nearest the curb when the two of you stroll hand-in-hand down the sidewalk. Go ahead and experiment so you can know for sure..
Contrary to what you may believe, every woman is different.
Remember: her accelerator pedal is more sensitive than yours. Most women will get turned off and blow a gasket if you punch it.
You might enjoy screeching out when the light turns green, but you won’t get anywhere by trying to hit a 100 mph from a cold start.
Unless the love of your life happens to be a Maserati.
Susan Bratton is a trusted hot sex advisor to millions of men. The thrust of her work helps guys seduce their girlfriends and wives with integrity … Grab her downloadable pamphlet, “How To Get Her To Say Yes!” to discover a stupid-simple seduction strategy that moves any woman toward more pleasure and connection with you.