Photo: Unsplash: Igor Starkov
Turn her on at every level.
By Susan Bratton — Written on Jan 08, 2019
One of the most common questions guys ask when it comes to figuring out how to have great sex and pleasure a woman is "How do I get her aroused more quickly?"
Though that might seem like these men are in a rush, they're are actually trying to understand how they can know she's turned on and moving toward having an orgasm.
It's a man's biologically driven goal to give a woman incredible pleasure, both so he gets invited back for more. The hardwired competitive reality is that women do the choosing in terms of which man they have sex with and when.
So once you understand that his rush to have sex comes from his desire to please his woman, his behavior becomes more understandable.
Men do like foreplay, but often their personal arousal time is faster than their woman's.
It's not that the don't want to play; it's that they need to be trained by you to give you the kind of foreplay you need in the moment.
Women's cyclical hormonal nature results in them needing different kinds of foreplay on different days, depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
Some days, she needs to be held and talked through whatever is on her mind before she can relax enough to get into her body. And on other days, she's so turned on that she simply wants to be ravished.
The most important thing a woman can do is let her guy know what she needs to get her body and mind in the right mood at that moment.
Most women respond best when the arousal escalates — from romance to sensuality to sexual stimulation.
Leaving out the romance omits her number one sex organ: her brain.
Romancing her during the day with a kiss before work, some sexy texts or phone calls during the day, and then a long, full-body hug upon reconnection goes a long way in setting the foundation for her surrender to pleasure.
Being affectionate and touching without expecting sex in between lovemaking dates also keeps her aroused between sessions.
Generally, men like having their penis touched early on in the lovemaking dance, whereas women more often prefer that a guy start stimulating their extremities, gradually their way in.
If you ask her where she wants to be touched at first, perhaps a foot rub or a tender massage of her neck, you can help her relax into her sensuality.
Working from the outside in is key when it comes to foreplay for a woman.
If she can tell you what feels good that day, as well as when she's ready for you to move from sensual to sexual touch, he will have the information he needs to give her pleasure.
Men need to know what their woman wants, and to understand that it changes from day to day because of their varying cycles. Even post-menopausal women's hormones cycle with the moon.
It's a lot of fun when a couple give themselves the time to play together and get warmed up for lovemaking. Scheduling sex so you have a couple of hours to relax and get in tune with each other gives you the time for foreplay.
And if there is any goal for a man to have, it's making sure his partner is well warmed up before intercourse, because rushing into it only prevents a woman from achieving her full orgasmic potential.
Making love before she's ready significantly lowers her pleasure potential.
Women have as much erectile tissue in the vulva as men do in the penis, so giving her a vulva massage will make every following touch, lick, and stroke feel even better for her, enabling her to be multi-orgasmic before, during, and after penetration.
Experimenting with a variety of new foreplay ideas will keep your sexual encounters interesting, and keep you both more turned on for each other.
Remember that he needs direction each time you make love.
The bottom line is that you need to tell him what will feel good today because every day is different.
Men love to pleasure their lades and they need to know what to do because he loves to turn you on when he knows he's doing a great job.
Susan Bratton is a trusted hot sex advisor to millions. Visit her website to find out more about the 10 Quirky Foreplay Techniques she recommends.