Anger is destructive, don’t allow yourself to succumb to its devilish nature.
The last few weeks I have read several books that have encouraged some self-reflection and the issue of bullying.
Bullying at one time was most commonly seen in kids at school. More recently the Internet has incited cyberbullying and the more traditional schoolyard torments have transcended to an inescapable virtual hell.
Upon deeper contemplation, I realized I was bullied in many ways and at times I was a bully to others.
I have the awful memory of when my parents were going through a divorce and I learned my father suffered from mental illness. I evaded the taboo topic of mental illness given its adverse and critical connotation, and as I continued to conceal my muddled family life I found myself consumed by anger, and lashing out at anyone I crossed paths with at school, faculty included.
Throughout my youth I was preyed on by my family and fell victim to their prodding. My uncle publicly criticized me because I spoke French instead of my mother-tongue English. My brother would rally my mother and stepfather to mock me, and the constant badgering from my mother about my physical appearance, failing to measure up on the beauty barometer, and constant belittling was heartbreaking. I was bullied at home and things began to boil over, so I turned around and hurt the only people I could, at school.
I think the anguish from being tormented at home to becoming a persecutor towards the people at school, taught me how to shield myself from evil and how anger acts like wildfire.
A few years before my mother passed, she divulged to me how amazed she was that I had created my own happiness despite her disparagement. In fact, my mother admitted she was jealous of my strength and independence.
This conversation was a form of therapy and it certainly fueled my fire to push forward and help others find happiness. As a professional matchmaker, I’m faced with clients who have their own relationship scars and I encourage them to heal through the growth that these experiences can offer. Sometimes the most influential life changes are sourced from a very dark place.
My mother had a distorted way of trying to help me become the best version of me. Though her intention was poorly delivered, it was meant to project that I should always take the outmost care of my mind, body and soul because it’s of value. As I began to absorb loving myself in its entirety, my confidence increased, my appearance improved and I became in tune with my spirituality.
You will attract better people if you thrive for personal greatness, fulfillment and satisfaction. I was more successful in matchmaking because I am an example of piecing back together my own life and then finding love after I learned to love myself.
Anger is destructive, don’t allow yourself to succumb to its devilish nature because it will swallow you, your relationships and stop you from finding love.