How to find a great partner, in outline form.
If you’ve been looking for a wonderful relationship, isn’t this the time to find it? To have a better life move beyond your Comfort Zone because some days it’s really a Discomfort Zone isn’t it?!
Here are the 7 steps you need to take to find love and have that blissful relationship:
1. Create an attribute list.
The first step to finding the partner you desire is to create a list of between 50 and 100 "Attributes of the Partner I Seek". And every night, you will read this aloud just before bed and ask The Divine or God or your Higher Self to "please bring me my partner now!"
2. Increase your magnetism.
The second step is to move beyond your fear, anger or sadness that may be stopping you from having the magnetic appeal that is needed to attract a fantastic partner to you.
There are different skills that allow this and the most effective is self-empathy from The 6-Part Conversation.
Begin by connecting to your fear, anger and/or sadness and feel it and note that it is there because one or more of your needs are not currently being met.
And while it’s so tempting to think that HE or SHE isn’t meeting your needs, it's always us — each of us can learn to be far more successful at meeting our own needs and by selecting more successful partnerships that will happen.
When I think about wanting a partner: Feeling... Need... Breathe.
- I feel sad because my need for companionship isn’t being met... Breathe.
- I feel lonely and I want to have more fun... Breathe.
- I feel confused because I need to learn how to attract the right person... Breathe.
- I feel frustrated because I need a date for this weekend... Breathe.
- I feel worried because I need to have safety while I look for a partner... Breathe.
And as you continue with this process you will notice that you feel more connected to yourself; more present and alive in the moment. As you practice this exercise, you begin to notice that you are more magnetic and attracting more and more potential partners.
3. Find your intention and focus.
Your ability to pinpoint what you desire — in this case, who you desire — is the difference between a fabulous relationship, a mediocre one, and no relationship at all.
Many people believe that they need to be general so that they don’t miss someone who is a little different from their list of attributes that make the perfect partner. This is the opposite of what’s true. Create your list of 50-100 Attributes and then be amazed at who arrives!
4. Be excited about finding, not just about looking.
Many people get side-tracked after I teach them how to succeed with online dating and they get stuck in looking and in chatting and meeting for coffee or happy hour.
If what you truly want a life-long intimate relationship, then you need to move towards lunch and dinner dates etc. and if you are happy with hooking up and quick dates, that’s fine, just adjust your goals.
5. Finesse for all the information you need to choose a fantastic partner.
You can’t get distracted by the fun of the date to forget to find out what you need to know using finessing skills:
"I imagine that it’s challenging to raise your daughter by yourself." (Look and listen because you don’t want to be in a relationship just to play Mom or Dad, do you?)
"How exciting that you’ve just moved her from (another state or country) you must be feeling a little overwhelmed by the challenges of settling in, yes?" (Look and listen because you want a partner who is a planner and who is organized.)
6. Suspend judging your date until the end of the first date.
Wait until after you’ve been given a clear indication that a second date would be a great idea or not and that can take an hour or two. Why? Because so many people not in a relationship give off a vibe that says, "You’re not The One" and then they never get a second chance with anyone.
Even if someone isn’t The One for you, if you haven’t dated in a while, you need practice. It's fine not to go out on the 2nd date, just don’t let your judging mind mess up your ability to decide. Wait until the date is complete.
7. Remember: Commitment is the key to success.
Keep working on this goal until you reach it and find the perfect partner for you who feels the same about you.