Dating Ms. Jekyll and Marrying Mrs. Hyde

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Dating Ms. Jekyll and Marrying Mrs. Hyde
Do women change after marriage?

Have you noticed how many women "change" after the wedding?

When you first start dating, it's all sunshine and roses. She loves doing ANYTHING you want to do. It looks something like …. Him: “Hey Babe, want to go see the WWF on Friday night?” Her: “Yeah, that sounds amazing!” Secretly, she's thinking, "Are you freaking kidding me? Who really watches that, let alone likes it?"

 

Yep, you've found her, your dream girl. And that's the problem — it's a dream.

But in our defense, this was never our intent! As young girls we're too often taught to "be nice." Just like Dr. Jekyll, we're attempting to rid ourselves of the "evil" within us; the evil of our own wants and desires. A so-called "good girl" doesn't have needs, wants, or desires beyond those of her partner. And if she does, she must bury and hide them in the darkest corners of her soul.

We're too often taught, by the behavior of our mothers and the media, if you want to get a good man, the right man, you need to learn to like what he likes, and want what he wants. But then, sometime after the wedding bells have stopped ringing, Mrs. Hyde starts to rear her ugly head. We can no longer contain our dislike, distaste and distain for the WWF (or whatever that thing is he loves and we find so annoying). We start to speak the truth, what we've thought all along. Words pop out of our mouths like, "How can you possibly like that? What makes you think I would ever enjoy watching a bunch of grown men parading around like peacocks?" (No offense to the WWF, I know there are thousands of loyal fans who love you.)

Ladies, I'm here to say, "What a crock!" It's time to stop pretending. If you really want to find a good man, the right man, you need to be honest with yourself, and him, from the beginning — that very first date. If you really like WWF, you're in luck! Go for it! But, if in your heart you know that it's a Deal Breaker, say so and move on.*

You can never find the Mr. Right for you by being Ms. Jekyll. Forget about all those articles that tell you how to trick him into falling for you. If those "tips and tricks" aren't part of who you are, or who you want to be, sooner or later the Mrs. Hyde in you will come out.

*Caveat: A brief word about Deal Breakers. We all have them, but too many times women disregard them for the mistaken belief that "when he knows me and loves me, he'll change." If you lose the guy because he really loves WWF, don't obsess over it. He clearly wasn't the guy for you. Do you really want to spend your future either putting up with something you really don't like, or worse yet, arguing over it?

More Dating Advice from YourTango:

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
 
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