In our culture, just about everything is disposable. Marriage shouldn't be.
Is it just me, or are we becoming increasingly accustomed to everything being disposable? It seems that we're constantly encouraged to upgrade in order to improve our lives. We "have" to get the newest smartphone, the fastest or more fuel-efficient car, the bigger and brighter 3D television. Is this becoming a reality in our marriages as well? Are we giving up and "disposing" of a marriage that might just need a little love and attention?
Marriage requires the same care and feeding as any living thing. You wouldn't just stick a seed in the ground without watering it and expect it to grow and blossom, would you? Like that seed, marriage takes a certain amount of care and feeding to keep it strong and flourishing. What are you doing to keep your marriage alive and growing? Below are my six key tips to help you eliminate "disposable marriage"—and avoid divorce.
1. Be fully committed. When we first get married, we're full of excitement and commitment to the relationship. For any relationship to work, you need to be 100-percent committed to it. Being 50-percent committed just won't cut it. We all know what it's like to be with someone who's more interested in doing their own thing than in spending time with us, and it sucks. Make sure to show your partner how important they are to your life. More often than not, the more you put into your marriage, the more you're going to get out of it. Take time each day to find two-three things you are grateful for.
2. Don't forget Date Night! Just because you're committed to each other doesn't mean that the courtship ends. Put in the same effort you did when you were first dating to keep the relationship alive. All it takes is a little effort to reap huge rewards. It doesn't have to be all champagne and candle light, although that might be nice occasionally. Just going to a movie together, or even a movie night in without the kids or other distractions, can be just what you need. Find time to spend alone with the one you love.
3. Get reacquainted. Remember how, in the beginning, you would sit, talk, and discover this person you were seeing, really getting to know them, who they were, and what they liked and disliked? Well, people grow and change. Do you know who your partner's best friend is today? What issues are they facing at work? What new interests do they have? What new dreams for the future? Spend a little time every week making sure you reacquaint yourself with each other so that you can continue to grow together, instead of growing apart. Keep reading...
More divorce advice from YourTango:
- How To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage
- The Top 5 Mistakes That Lead To Divorce
- Dating After Divorce: What You Need To Know