Don't Stop Believing...In Each Other

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Don't Stop Believing...In Each Other
Believe in each other and your relationship will thrive.

Don't Stop Believing In Relationships

Every couple needs to find opportunities to nurture their relationship. Without this, your relationship becomes stale and isolating. Last evening, my wife and I went to Kieland commons to see a free concert on the mall. We clearly were not alone; it was jam packed with couples, singles, families, dogs and others who were looking for ways to enjoy the experience of an Arizona summer.

Music Has The Tendency Of Bringing People Together 

Music brings people together and is one of the reasons that many people follow rock bands. The band, Rock Lobster, a retro-80s group, helped everyone feel comfortable in the setting and involved. The musicians interacted well with the audience. As I looked around, everyone was enjoying the experience with their friends and loving relationships. Singles, children and parents were dancing and having a great time. 

Don't Forget It's About Having Fun 

Sometimes we forget that having experiences that are light and uplifting are an essential part of healthy relationships, just as much as learning how to connect on a deep level and helping people feel loved and important is. Couples who have fun experiences together can be as therapeutic as the sessions in our offices. The more we feel that our partner is part of creating the fun, the more likely we are to see our relationship as positive and loving. That was true for me that evening with my wife; we were having fun just people watching, enjoying the music together. 

One of the more salient moments was when the band played the 80s song "Don't Stop Believing." I couldn't help but feel that it was significant because the message in the song is one that I hope I share enough with couples and families. Believing in yourself and each other is critical in working together to identify the negative cycles in the relationship. A commitment to not stop believing in each other is essential.

The Musical Group — Journey

The musical group, Journey, identified the sentiments of connection being something we all crave and need. They say it best in their song "Don't Stop Believing."

Streetlight people living just to find emotion hiding somewhere in the night.

Some will win, some will lose, some were born to sing the blues …Oh the movie never ends, it goes on and on and on and on.

Don't stop believing, hold onto the feelin’.

Four Things We Need To Learn an Remeber About Love And Relationships 

1. Don't give up hope in your relationship

The meaning behind the song for me is that we can't give up hope, we must keep searching for a meaningful relationship with our loved ones regardless of how difficult it may be. We have to keep trying to search for this connection. The symbol of streetlight people is that all of us have an innate need for this and without it, we just are a mass of streetlight people rambling on in our world without meaning or purpose. Everyone has their "public face" which we present. Without this deep and meaningful connection, we just are all shallow and searching for something without a purpose.

2. When we find a deeper, more meaningful relationship, our lives are more joyous and we can't help but feel more at ease with ourselves.

I feel this is part of the reason that many of us report in the later years of our lives that we feel happier and more at peace. Sometimes it takes a long time to find this kind of relationship.

3. The effort is worth it!

Put forth effort to make those connections that we often substitute cheap thrills for true meaning and connection in relationships. We will sacrifice a great deal to avoid being lonely, even if the reward is fleeting.

"Some will win:" Some will find a true, meaningful relationship, some won't, some never will. This cycle goes on and on. Is there anything more EFT based than talking about the cycles in our relationships?

4. Our Personal Ghosts Get In The Way Of Healthy Relationships 

Feeling loved nn spite of our personal ghosts is part of the solution. Don't be afraid of them, share them. We are haunted by our personal ghosts, and are seeking someone who will understand and relate to us despite who we are and our perceived shortcomings. 

The Conclusion

Seeking someone with whom we can share who we really are, be vulnerable with while still feeling important and special to them, reinforces that our belief in love is worthwhile and possible. Don't stop believing love is possible.

Stuart is a marriage and family counselor with a private practice in Scottsdale, Arizona. His practice is exclusive to individuals, couples and families who are having relationship difficulties. Stuart believes in the power of love and has dedicated his life to helping couples, individuals and famlies find fulfilling love.For more information on his practice go to www.TheCouplesExpertScottsdale.com.
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This article was originally published at Stuart Fensterheim The Couples Expert Scottsdale. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Stuart Fensterheim

Marriage and Family Therapist

Stuart Fensterheim LCSW

www.TheCouplesExpertScottsdale.com


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Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Credentials: LCSW
Specialties: Attachment Issues, Blended Family Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Divorce Rehabilitation, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Marriage, Step Parent, Stepfamilies
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