We fail to create a stable marriage when we make being happy the most important thing in our lives.
I think married couples should be happy. If they aren't happy they should be working on being happy. But happiness isn't the most important thing in a marriage. Dr. Corey Allan said it well on his blog SimpleMarriage.net, "Marriage is about growing us up." And guess what? Growing pains hurt.
Our culture gives us so many messages about how this 'thing' or that 'thing' will make us happy and fulfilled. Yet, if we approach our marriage with an attitude that asks, "What are you going to do for me to make me happy?" Your marriage is going to be a tough road. Marriage is about growing and learning to be a better person. Its not about being happy all the time.
We fail to create a stable marriage when we compare our marriage to others.
"Oh, the Phillips family down the street has the greatest, most happy marriage that I have ever seen!" Sure, but what about the stuff you don't see? When we start comparing our marriage to other marriages, we set our relationships up for failure. When we compare, we are taking what we know about our relationship and comparing it to what we DON'T know about someone else's. This can cause bitterness and dissatisfaction, which breeds contempt. No marriage needs that.
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We fail to create a stable marriage when we make our marriage about romantic feelings.
Passion eventually fades. To make your marriage last you have to be committed to your spouse no matter how you feel. The romantic feelings may come and go, but your feelings of togetherness and bondedness don't have to quit. Become a student of your spouse; learn everything you can about them. It will keep you interested in and interesting to the one you love.
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What do you do to create a stable marriage?