My wife explained that she felt that I gave her lingerie it was because she wasn't good enough. She felt I needed her to wear something special to be sexy. She felt that type of gift was more about me and what I wanted, not what she would really want. I was floored. I never thought my wife wasn't good enough, that she wasn't sexy or that the present might really be about me! That was the furthest thing from my mind.
By giving my wife lingerie, I was expressing to her things that I never meant to express. Here are some things I learned from our conversation, maybe they'll help you navigate the sexy "underthings" conversation, too:
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1. Women want (and need) to be loved unconditionally. You need to figure out what really makes your wife feel loved, maybe it is lingerie, roses, candies, candlelight dinner, a hot bubble bath... maybe it's you handling the kids for a day or letting her go to the spa or get a manicure. Make sure the gift you give her is from the heart and not other parts.
2. Have conversations about what makes her feel loved. You need to know what she likes or dislikes before you start buying stuff that you would like to see, or you think she would want.
3. If she does like lingerie, shop together. This way she purchases something she is comfortable with, and you get to have input as well. 15 Valentine's Day Gifts You'll Both Enjoy
4. Think about who the present is really for. Who is really going to enjoy it? While you might justify it by saying that ultimately you both would enjoy it, be honest with yourself! If your wife is not in the same place as you are in this area. It might be more for you than her.
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What do you think? Is lingerie an insulting gift?